Martha In Heaven

happy valentine's day to everyone♥

2012-02-14T16:47:00.013Z

photo from weheartit

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. Hope you have a wonderful day with your loved ones. I have spent some of my day sitting at a café bar, drinking cocoa and reading a book. Bought valentine's cupcakes to my parents and myself. I think this day is for to remind us, how important it is to tell those around you, that you love them and then show them. So do something special for those close to you. Remember, the greatest joy one can have, is to make others happy.

my own photos

- Hugs & kisses -

childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies..

2012-02-12T20:25:00.021Z

Remember when I was a child, I would ride my bike to the top of the street, and slide down in a high speed, like I was flying, feeling the lovely summer breeze brushing my face. Such a good feeling. The feeling of freedom, and happiness all in one. A time where I had no worries, and everything was a fairytale.

photos from weheartit

I remember childhood, where I loved things like Spice Girls, Sesame Street, Hey Arnold, furby, Are you afraid of the dark, barbie, betty spagetti and "Kaptain Sabeltann". I listened to cassettes, cause they were still popular then. And I loved dressing up in clothes and shoes that were way too big for a little girl like me. I would make myself a house of my own inside out of some chairs and a blanket. I was outside, A LOT, climbed in trees, played family where we would make food out of leaves, grass and bark. I actually think I was more outside than inside during my whole childhood. Many good memories I hold dear, which I look back on with a big smile. I am very glad and grateful that I grew up in the 90's and not now, I wouldn't have switched.

Sometimes I wish I could be a child again. There is nothing like having no troubles in the world, only caring about what game to play next. A time when everything is innocent and kind. What a lovely place to be. That is why I promise that I will make sure that my children don't miss out on their childhood, that they never rush into growing up, that time will come soon enough anyway.

- Secrets -

happiness is..

2012-01-21T22:24:00.016Z

the small things like..

a good cup of tea..

I'll sit there drinking tea, just enjoying the moment, the here and now, and smiling, cause I know it is the little things that actually matter, the things you may take for granted.. cause I know every moment matter. I wouldn't want to miss tea, tea is important.

a good movie..

because it makes me smile, I get inspiration and just simply for the dreaming.. and I like to look at cary grant.

diving into an favorite..

just because I love books, love to dream, I'll escape to my own little world, where nothing is right or wrong. make my own pictures, and the knowledge, for wich I am strongly grateful. thank you writers, you give me so much.

walking in the nature alone..

because that is where I get most ideas, I love the silence, only the nature and me, peaceful.

music..

because I can shut out the world if I want to, again I dream, I think of everything that is good, happy thoughts, and sometimes I turn to it just for comfort, cause it actually helps, a little.

photography..

because a picture says more than a thousand words, so much deeper meanings, and feelings, art, beauty, dreams, hidden secrets. photography is art, wich is a way of expression.

it all says I'm alive.

- Secrets -

scream as if no one could hear..

2012-01-15T11:36:00.004Z

photo from weheartit

The despair of searching for a way out of the pain, when all the doors are closed. I'll scream, just to make sure I'm alive. Pinch myself in the arm, to be sure I really exist. Jump from a certain height, only to feel something, anything at all. Run as fast as I can from despair to deep sorrow, hoping to escape existence. Breath in and out, as if nothing had mattered. Find it hard to laugh when I'm dying on the inside. Close my eyes as I imagine a world without pain, where pain is not even a word, and the largest problem in the universe is absolutely nothing. Dreaming of something to take me away. There is a world I know, that is yet to come. The day I drown in an ocean of pain, my screams will reach the surface, like footprints in the snow, like deep scars in the flesh. My screams will rip into your soul like fingernails scratching their way out.

photo from weheartit

I surrender.

- Secrets -

I was not made for this place..

2012-01-14T23:48:00.008Z

beautiful photo from weheartit

Now I know why I never fit in. I have always been standing on the outside, looking in. And for a long time, I have thought that it was a bad thing, that there was something wrong with me. But I figured out, I do belong somewhere, just not right here. Since I was a little girl, I have been living in this dreamworld, that was just mine, where I would let no one else in. Was just easier that way, I could pretend, just for a while, that there was no pain, and that it didn't eat me alive from the inside. For a while that has been ok with me, but sometimes it hits me, how lonely I really am, and how I long for something more, something real. I guess I am always going to be a dreamer, but I am living in the hope, that one day, I'll be able to make at least one of my dreams come true.

beautiful photo from weheartit

I'll forget you

You'll look in the mirror,

and see nothing

You'll breath

I can't hear you

You'll watch

as I watch nothing,

in this emptiness,

I'll follow

You'll forget

I forgot you

- Written by me/martha

- From a dreamer to another -

happy new year everyone

2012-01-01T13:53:00.004Z

beautiful photos from weheartit

here's to 2012, may it be everything you want it to be♥

- new years wishes -

wish myself back in time..

2011-12-27T21:00:00.004Z

I think no one has longed for a different life and different time, more than me. At this time, I should have been an old lady. If I got to choose, I would have been born on 25th of September 1910. I feel misplaced by where I am now. Everything about me says that I should have lived back in the 20's 30's and 40's. You tell that by what kind of style I like (vintage, romantic), what rules or morals I live by, my values, the kind of decency and politeness I own, the men I find attractive, my favorite movies, actors, and music, the interests I bear, and the list goes on. One of my big passions is writing, so the good thing is that I can write down my dreams in stories that I create. That is the amazing thing about writing, you can dream and fantasize as much as you'd like! Nothing is wrong or stupid, at least not when it comes straight from your heart. I wish myself back to the 1920's 30's and 40's. It isn't silly to have wishes and dreams, because they are like little treasures that are worth so much.

- Secrets -

mean words and actions give scars, I am full of them..

2011-12-04T22:17:00.018Z

Everybody is afraid of something, someone more than others. Me, I have fears too. That one day, everybody that matters in my life will leave, and I will be left all alone. I try my best to be good, say the right things, and live by the rules, but sometimes, that's not enough. Cause I end up getting hurt either way. Seems like all my life I have been a doormat to others, stayed down, taken what had come my way, and tried to hide all the tears that pushed their way out, showing how hurt I really was. Someone would say something hurtful, and I would just listen, take in all the harsh, mean words, that hit me like lightening on a clear day. They never gave it another thought, though I never forgot any of it. And now it is a part of me, a part of who I am, what I am. Mean words and actions give scars, I am full of them. When I get all defensive, become very emotional, seem distant or insecure, it isn't who I always was, it is what I became. You develop through what happens in your life, and wether it is good or bad, that is what decides what you become. I have realised, all my life, I have been on the outside looking in. Every time I asked politely if I could please be let inside, the door would be shut in my face. And even how cold it would get on the outside, that door would not open for me. My screams were never heard.

It comes to a point where you have been beaten down so many times, you don't know if it's even worth getting up again. You try to make contact with someone, reach out for a hand to hold on to, anything, that can keep you up. When they all push your hand away, after a while, you simply stop trying, and let yourself fall.

And yet I still put on a smile, and pretend everything's ok, because it is easier than getting hurt by opening up.

- Story of my life -

nothing beats natural beauty..

2011-10-30T13:29:00.018Z

photo from http://musingsbyjodie.blogspot.com

Beauty is something everybody is obsessed with, wether we like to admit it or not. One way or the other, we all care about beauty. Although beauty isn't as special as we like to think. Natural beauty, now that is special. Because it shines all the way through, from inside to the outside. Though there are those who create it, and then calls it beauty, but the whole idea falls apart, because nothing can beat real natural beauty. We have those who tell lies, about their so called beauty, they don't tell you the truth, that they really had a plastic surgery, or a botox. And we girls, we put on make up. That is not beauty though, you don't put on a mask and claim it as your own. The courage to age gracefully, because there is nothing more beautiful than the lines you get in your face, it proves your humanity, shows that you have actually lived. But beauty isn't all appearance, it is so much more. All human are beautiful, black, white, small, big, tall, short. And NO ONE, is more special than anyone else. If you think you are, you're only fooling yourself, because you are one among billions. But it doesn't mean you are not special in your own way, everyone is. That is the amazing thing about humanity, everyone is different in their own way, it is a good thing that there are so many different kinds of people. Just think of what a boring place the world would have been, if everyone were the same. And the most beautiful people, are those who simply are themselves, 100%. I want to be like the old couple in the picture when I grow old, married to the same man for 50 years, a man who loves you for just you. And all the lines showing in my face, will be my witness, as well as my living proof.

- True story -

the day heaven takes fire..

2011-08-20T20:49:00.012Z

picture by me

The day heaven takes fire, is when heaven and hell comes together to fight against each other. Good takes on evil, God versus Satan. Welcome to the day of the end, where there is nothing left. Human are extinct, animals too, all that is left is the mess that we made. Now God has decided, it is time to clean it up, make a fresh start, and do it all over again. Welcome to the end. Humans, you kept up a good fight, for centuries. The bad news is, at one point or another, it all has to end. For a long time, I waited for a better day. It makes me sad to say, you have failed miserabely, and I must now take it all away. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, you paid me back by poisioning the world that I made for you. Now I am deeply dissapointed. Next time, I will not mess it up. Free will was a mistake, a mistake I won't do again.

M

my dream of a big white wedding..

2011-08-17T00:26:00.005Z

Yes, I am dreaming of a big white wedding. Doesn't most girls? I would think so. Let me tell you what kind of girl I am. I am a romantic at heart, dreaming of a big white wedding, marrying the man of my dreams, maybe in a garden with lots of flowers, surrounded by all the people we love. I am the kind of girl that wants to plan everything down to every little detail, and I want it to be perfect, because after all, it is a very important day, and I only plan on getting married once. So it is a once in a lifetime kind of thing. That is why I want it to be exactly how I want it to be.

I know that looks isn't everything, the personality is important too, I totally agree with that. But I think it is lying when people say they don't care about looks at all. With me it is a combination of looks and personality. I don't think it is wrong to know what you want and what you don't you want in a partner. It is just honest, and it is saves a lot of time and heartache. For example I know what I want in a man. He had to be first of all, a real man, and then decent, sophisticated, caring and romantic. How I see my dreamman? He is tall, darkhaired, wears a suit, is very romantic, and loves to surprise me. I know that I can't go around looking for that, that would be unrealistic. But a girl can dream, right? I like to dream. Any other girls out there, dreaming of a big white wedding, and speculates on what the groom will be like?

I just hope and wish, I will get my happy ending. That one day I will find that special someone I can promise to stand by and love forever. When I fall inlove, I'll just know it's right, and it will be because I can't imagine life without him.

beautiful photos from weheartit.com

- Secrets -
M

some people just want to see the world burn..

2011-08-11T21:25:00.010Z

picture from google.no.

How is it that some people are capable of doing something so evil, it makes the whole world gasp, and then they do not feel any remorse what so ever? That is something I have been asking myself a lot. Is it the human we can call evil, or is it the actions they commit? Because many of those who have evil intentions, also have a soft side. Then I ask; is it really all that black and white? Some are all evil, some are not evil at all? Though I think, we are all capable of evil. But before we continue talking about evil, we have to settle what it stands for, what is the definition of evil? I chose wikipedia as my source; "evil (also called badness or egregiousness) is the violation of some moral code. Evil is usually seen as the dualistic opposite of good." Well, I don't know about you, but that answer didn't exactly satisfy my curiosity.
Take for example the nazis during world war 2. I think we can establish that the actions they commited were monsterous and evil. But what about the individuals? What were they like as a human beings, in their private life? They had families, they had children, parents, wives, a place called home. These men went from being a cold heartless monster, to a loving husband and father. How can you in one moment tell your own children you love them, kiss them goodbye, and in the next kill innocent, defenceless people?

You have different kind of people who commit evil actions. There are those who commit those actions for a reason, and then there are those who simply want to see the world burn (that last line was said about the joker in The Dark Knight). The one thing about these people, they do not see what they do as an action of evil. Has it to do with sympathy and empathy? Maybe we are not all born with it, or maybe some have less of it. Another thing is your childhood, who your parents are, your family and what environment you grow up in. If the father is violent and a drunk, there is a great chance that it will affect the child's life in a negative way. Remember the first years of a child's life are the most important ones. That's when they evelop and turn into the person they become for the rest of their life. "Recent research confirms that the first five years are particularly important for the development of the child's brain, and the first three years are the most critical in shaping the child's brain architecture. Early experiences provide the base for the brain's organizational development and functioning throughout life. They have a direct impact on how children develop learning skills as well as social and emotional abilities." You can read more here.
It has to start there, childhood. That is where it all begins, that is the root. Why do think when you go to a psychiatrist, that they ask about your childhood? It is because that is usually the root of the problem. But of course, you have those who had a great childhood, who end up doing something horrible. What about those you may ask. Well, then we are off to something different. There are something called a "bad influence", maybe they got obsessed with something or an idea, maybe they have failed at something, or simply are dissatisfied with life or the community they live in. So many possibilities, you just have to take a wild guess.

So if you wonder why people do evil things, don't just jump to conclusions, there can be so many reasons. We do not accept it, not even understand it, but for the sake of peace and goodness, we do try and figure out why, so that we can make an effort to stop it from happening again. What we don't do is answer with evil. If we do, it will never end.

- Story of reality -
M

mitt lille land // my little country..

2011-07-26T19:22:00.008Z

Text in english;

My little country
A small place where a handful of peace thrown out
among the plains and the sea

My little country,
where the mountains are planted between the houses and people and words.
And where silence and dreams grow.
As an echo in the barren soil.

My little country,
where the sea stroking gently and softly, like a caress from coast to coast.

My little country,
where the stars slip by and become a landscape when it gets light.
while at night, is pale and silent.

I'm proud to say, I am Norwegian <3

"If one man can show so much hate, imagine how much love we can show together."
N<3RWAY

OSL<3

photos from weheartit.com

- From a norwegian heart -
M

love is stronger than hate..

2011-07-25T18:08:00.009Z

"We have chosen to meet hate with solidarity. We have chosen to show what we stand for."
- Crown Prince Haakon Of Norway

We choose to show love and solidarity.

Today 12:00 PM the whole country and our neighbouring countries, stopped for 1 minute, in memory of those who where killed in the attacks 22.07.11 in Oslo and Utoeya.

6:00 PM all over the country, people were marching in the streets with roses and torches, also in memory of those killed in the attacks 22.07.11 in Oslo and Utoeya.

In Oslo, over 200 000 people showed up in the streets, where the Crown Prince and Primeminister of Norway held speeches among others.

pictures from vg.no

- From a Norwegian heart -
M

we are a small nation, but we are a proud nation..

2011-07-24T16:45:00.008Z

photo far up from weheartit.com

"No one will bomb us to silence. No one will shoot us to silence. No one will ever scare us away from being Norway." - Primeminister Jens Stoltenberg

Never will we forget..

R.I.P everyone who got killed in the attacks 22.07.11 in Oslo and Utoeya

photo from weheartit.com

- From a norwegian heart -
M

I need nothing else..

2011-07-07T19:21:00.012Z

beautiful photo from weheartit

It is funny how we strive to be "perfect". Really, we just keep trying to be better than everyone else, and isn't that the most selfish thing you ever heard? There is something wrong about this world, and I know I don't like it that much. At least I know that I wasn't suppose to live in this era, I was meant for a different time, when the pressure wasn't this huge. Many things were much more simple back in the old days. No one went and got a plastic surgery so that their breasts would be bigger, or buy rinkle cream, or constantly buying new things. No, they appriciated much more what they had, and each other, that was enough. Today it seems like people never get enough, they always need more. And if they can't buy a brand new car, even though the one they got works just fine, it's the end of the world. How did the world become this? When did things start to go wrong? People keep wanting things, but forget about what is right infront of them, like the nature. Have people ever stopped and simply sit in silence and listened to the nature, breathing in the fresh air that we are so blessed with? Seems like they are too occupied with what they want to realise how beautiful it is, and how lucky we are. When I am walking my dog, and I go to this lake, where I'm only surrounded by good nature, I wish that the world could be only that. Not all the materialistic, and the pressure of always having to be better. I like as well as I need to "escape" sometimes, from the world that is spinning out of control. Sitting there by the lake, with my feet in the water, and just listen to the nature, that is the feeling of real freedom, which I hope never gets taken away from me.

- From a dreamer to another -
M

do you believe in evil..

2011-06-29T20:48:00.005Z

photo from weheartit

Do you believe in evil? Many times I have been so shocked by all the evil things people do, so wicked it is beyond my understanding. What makes people do these wicked, evil things? Because I just can't imagine not caring, not be loving and polite to others. Yes, if there is something I will never understand, it is what makes people commit these evil actions. Me, I feel bad about the smallest things, only if I forgot to give my grandfather a hug, I would feel guilty. How is it that somone can feel no remorse or regret what so ever about the bad things they have done? Sympathy, emathy, I believe maybe I was born with it, and that may be the case. Or perhaps because I had such good parents, a loving family. Even though I got bullied in school, that didn't change who I am, and I am glad. Because I wouldn't want to be someone else, I have the qualities that matter. And I neither drink nor smoke, and I am proud of that, not that drinking alcohol or smoking makes you a bad person, but I like to think that I have choosen my own path and that I am strong that way. Still, that doesn't chase the evil away, it is still there, lurking in the shadows. And I know that something is still haunting me, more than I would like to admit. Hopefully, one day I will find the peace that I so desperately seek.

- From a dreamer to another -
M

in this world of dreaming..

2011-06-17T21:25:00.008Z

beautiful photo from weheartit

Have you ever been so taken with someone, you don't know what do with yourself? I have, but not in someone I have met in real life, of course I am talking about Cary Grant. He is so handsome, charming and all that, makes me totally melt. I have bought movies he is in at amazon.co.uk. Love to watch movies with him in it, just looking at him is heaven to me. Though I know he is dead, but can't a girl dream? I am sure you all have been or are taken with a certain celebrity. Feels so good to just watch a movie with your favorite actor, and just go over to dreamland. That is such a good and happy feeling. I love dreamland, where everything is possible and only your own mind is the limit. I believe it is healthy to leave the reality for a few minutes, or several. Not leaving it alltogether though, that would be crazy, but for a while. Reality is still going to be there when you return. Just because reality is no fairy tale, doesn't mean you can't make your life one.

- From a dreamer to another -
M

secrets of your tears..

2011-06-16T18:02:00.006Z

beautiful photo from weheartit

Alone? Yes, I know the feeling. The feeling of screaming for help, when you know that no one is going to hear you. When you sit in your room with the curtains closed, all alone in the dark, and it seems like everyone else is gone. Watching the raindrops fall from the sky, and you're grateful, because now you don't have to hide. The rain washes away the secrets of your tears, and the memory of a thousand kisses. And when you feel most lonely, is the time when you're not alone at all.

- Secrets -
M

there's something about a man in a suit..

2011-05-16T23:12:00.006Z

lovely photo of the handsome Cary Grant from google

Have you ever been taken with someone really older than you? By that I mean like more than 5 years. Because I find myself often taken with older men, boys my own age just aren't as exciting I guess. And something I absolutely cannot resist is a man in a suit, then I totally melt. Have you had it like that? Now I am talking to the girls out there. Ever been to the store, the mall or anywhere else and seen this really handsome man, and thinking; "WOW, I wish I was a little bit older." Then again, when does age start to matter? OK, I think we can establish that when a girl is 21 it is not acceptable that she is dating a 70 year old man. But if a 21 year girl is dating a man 10 years older, is that really terrible? If they are in the same place, and they really connect, why should age matter there? And as you grow older, age becomes more invisible. I think age shouldn't matter in love, to a certain limit. I would love to hear you thoughts about it though. (And please, if any girls out there have been in the same place, I am quite interested in hearing about that too!)

And then over to something else.

beautiful photo from weheartit

If you have dreams, you need to believe strong enough in them, and then they will come true one day. I dreamt about going to USA, to Los Angeles and Hollywood, and guess what? Been there, done that. Not long ago from now I was on schooltrip there, spent like 13 days there. So never stop believing in something, because that is a big part of making it come true. Though, no matter how much you believe in becoming a dinosaur, that won't happen. But that is something we all know. There are things you feel are right and things you know really can happen, and those things will come true, if you only give it an effort. You want to become a journalist, you can become a journalist. All it takes is some hard work, believing in yourself, and love for what you do. And if what you try to do doesn't work after you have given everything, maybe it's not in the stars for you. Not everyone can be a singer, or a lawyer, we are all different, fit for different things, we just need to find out what that is.

The one thing you must remember is, never let anyone take the spirit and joy away from you. There will be people standing in your way, blocking, just ignore them and focus on doing your best, you just remember that no one is better than the best you (credits for that to a man who spoke to us on the schooltrip in the US, Nick Cooper, thank you for the amazing speech). Do what you love, and do it with love. Keep moving forward.

- From a dreamer to another -

dare to be different..

2011-02-27T22:45:00.017Z

"If you're lucky enough to be different, don't ever change." - Taylor Swift

"Be the red crayon among black pencils." - Me/Myself

beautiful photo from weheartit.com

Early in life we decide what kind of person we want to be, how we want to appear when we meet new people. It can be hard to find yourself, and figure out what kind of person you are. Maybe you are a little afraid that they won't like you for who you are. Well I will tell you this, as long as you are yourself, there will be more people accepting you for who you are. If you try to be something that you are not, there is a good chance everyone will see right through you, and they end up disliking you. I always thought it is better to stand out and be different, an individual, than to dissapear in the crowd. The best thing is to just do what you feel is right for you, and not care so much what others think. If someone doesn't like you for who you are, well, it is their problem. There will always be someone out there who accept you for the person that you are. I know all of this kind of sounds like a cliché, but it couldn't be more true. I have seen people who have tried to be this other person, and it is so sad to just watch the person you knew fade away. When you try to become another person for too long, you will eventually lose yourself. Though, if you are very lucky you may be able to get back to your old self.

beautiful photo from weheartit.com

I know this girl, when I met her I thought she was very easy to talk to. Suddenly she changed, and became all bitchy. Now I don't talk to her anymore. She is with the "popular" girls now. When I see her, I can say hi, but not much else. There are some people you at first go great along with, but later you part ways. Too many times I have discovered that the firstimpression you get about a person can be completely wrong. Take time to get to know a person before you judge. They can be quite different from how you think they are. I have to admit that I can judge someone very easily, but I am going to try and be more openminded. I know I wouldn't like it if someone labled me before they even got to know me.

Why do people change? It depends. If they come into a new environment, there is a chance they will start acting like the ones around them. I have even noticed myself that when I am around someone for many hours of many days in a year, I may start saying things I wouldn't normally say. That can be a little scary at times, especially if you are with your parents, and they see the clear difference in you. One of the things I am most afraid of is the thought of losing myself completely. That I become a different person, and that no one will recognise me. When you choose to be yourself, more people will accept you for who you are. You will soon recognise if someone are fake. There is a saying that I really like; "Be yourself, everyone else is taken." Which is very true.

- From a dreamer to another -

if you can dream it, you can do it..

2011-02-17T22:25:00.003Z

Have you ever wanted to escape from the real world? I have, many times. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong her at all, that I don't fit in anywhere. I am looking at everyone else, and then at myself, thinking; what am I really doing here? There have been many times I have dreamt about living in a different time. And I think that maybe I was supposed to, that I wasn't meant for this era. 1930's would have been something else, now there I think I would have fit better in. It is so strange that in a way I am actually very old fashioned, so it feels totally wrong living here and now. Feels good to be able to lock out the whole world for a while, just listening to some music, writing, reading, or just simply sit quietly outside listening to all the sounds, observing everything around you. At home I use to go for a walk with my dog, up to a lake not far away. There I can just sit for a while, just me and my thoughts (and my dog of course). I am looking around me, at the sky, the lake, all the nature that is so beautiful. After I have had some time for myself, thinking, I feel so much better. Like I have been through therapy. I know it sounds kind of silly, but sometimes I pretend that there is nothing going on around me, I let all the worries slip from my shoulders. And it feels pretty good at that time. Everyone needs some freetime, to just relax, let go of all your problems just for a little while. If there is something every human needs, it is alonetime. Though some people are afraid to be alone, they always need someone around them. Can't say that I envy them, cause I am happy to say I am alone very often. Guess I am the kind of person who prefers to sit quietly by myself and read a good book, or something else calm and relaxing. Because I know that there are people I can depend on around me, and that makes me not so alone in the end.

beautiful photo from weheartit

I like to dream about what my future is going to be like. Where I am going to live, what my apartment will look like, what kind of man I'm going to find and what kind of job I get. And the thing is, if you really believe, and if you work hard, you will get where you want. I know that it is kind of stupid, but I have a strong feeling that my destiny is that I will meet the love of my life somewhere outside of Norway. Very often I dream about what my life will be like. That's just who I am, a dreamer and a planner. So much more fun to be alive when you can plan your future, and what you want to do. You only live once, and you better make the best of it. So why not do what you want the most? If you dream about living in New York, and becoming a director, then you can do that. Nothing should stop you. As long as you work hard for what you want, and believe in your dreams, you can do almost anything. Just because it looks a little dark for a period, do not drop everything and say that you give up. As we all know life is filled with ups and downs, and on your way up, you need to fall down at least a couple of times. That is how you learn how to be strong. There have been many times where I just wanted to give up and quit, but I forced myself to continue, and I am glad I did. Also I had good help from my family and people near me, they supported me and comforted me in the dark times. It is funny how much the human can take, we just keep on fighting. And remember this; Dreams come true for those who believe in them.

- From a dreamer to another -

believe in your dreams..

2011-01-02T16:16:00.008Z

Happy New Year everyone! It is now 2011, and hopefully, it will be a year filled with laughter, joy, new experiences, challenges, happy surprises and love. But life isn't always easy, and I know this year will also include tears, anger, dissapointment and not so happy surprises. Life is like that. You fall down sometimes, but you have got to keep on fighting for what you want in life. Do not give up trying, even though it may seem dark and useless. Know this: When you fall down, you learn how to get up again. Look at it as challenges, where you have to go threw these obsticales. Did the prince in Sleeping Beauty give up the fight against the dragon, and give up saving Sleeping Beauty? NO, he fought, and he won over the dragon, then he woke his princess from the long sleep, broke the curse. All these fairytales we have heard from childhood, they are all about real life. How we should live, what qualities are good, to play fair, and to never give up on your dreams/goals. Doesn't make sence that the wicked witch would win does it? But unfortunately there are wicked witches in real life too, wether they are in the shape of a colleage, a student at school, or the girl down the block. The trick is to be the one playing fair. In the end, people will see that persons true colors, and then it is over for him/her. Decent people are not interested in having desceiving, untruthful, mean people in their lives. The truth always comes out, one way or the other.

All of you who feel like you are not good enough, that you worth less, throw those thoughts as far away as you can. Look at other people, and trust me, you will find flaws, they are far from perfect. You think supermodels and other celebrities are perfect? You think they got perfect skin, hair, lips? The pictures you see in magazines and on television is far from the truth. They have been styled by proffessionals, then the photos has been edited in photoshop or another picture-editing-program. I bet that if you saw them in real life, you wouldn't be able to recognice them. Without their make up, and the photo-editing, I tell you; not so perfect! Though the most of us know all of this, it is hard to accept, that knowledge slips away when we see them on television and in magazines. Search up: Dove Evolution on youtube, and you will see the truth.
Lately I have been very insecure and suspicious. I go to a school somewhere else in the country, and it was before I went home for christmas that these feelings started to sneek up on me. Some people are acting kind of strange. They are rude, rejecting and distant. Though this is not how EVERYONE act, but some. I started to believe there was a rumour going around about me, but I have eliminated that option. So I simply rest in the belief that some people are just LIKE THAT. To be honest, I kind of feel sorry for them, cause if that's how they act with people, they won't have many friends left. All I try to do is be nice and polite to everyone, and sometimes all I get is a could shoulder. But I am tired of being stamped on, and from now on I will say exactly what I feel, and shout out my opinions, cause that's obviously the only way of surviving in this world. Not holding back, trying to please everyone, that does not work. No more miss nice. There is a limit between being nice and being so nice that people treat you the way they want.
Say to yourself: "This year will be different than any other. I am going to trust myself and believe in my dreams." Because if you really want it enough, you can do it. How to get where you want? Hard work and believing in yourself and what you want. If you feel like you have nothing left to live for, think about your dreams/dream, and focus on that. Do you have a dream, you have a reason to live. Why do you think I still hang around?

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt

- Story of my life -
M

the rose city..

2010-10-09T15:31:00.014Z

There is nothing that interests me more than world war 2. My goal is to have a huge collection of everything that has to do with it. Movies, books, photographies, antiques, etc. At the time I am actually writing a story that is set to during the war in Germany. When I was in Oslo I bought myself another book, a biography on english about Hitler written by Ian Kershaw. He is supposed to be an expert on Hitler, so I am abseloutely sertain it will be well written. Just finished reading a book about 10 women in Norway who did resistance during the war. The stories were so amazing, that I actually questioned myself; are they real? or are they just something from an action movie? Because I couldn't believe that this had really happened. One of the best books I have read in the ww2 genre. When I read about the norwegians who were in the resistance, or see movies about it, that is when I can't help being proud to be norwegian.

And I just love the way people dressed in the 1940's, so classy, and the men were so decent and well-dressed. Sometimes I wish I lived at that time, though I should be glad I didn't, because of the war. On of these days my father told me that my grandfather (his father) had told him that his father (my greatgrandfather) had been in Oslo the 9th of April 1940, when the germans invaded Norway. He had never told us that before, and my father is now 50 years old. I really want to hear more stories from him, cause I am sure there is more things he hasn't told us about. My dad wants to set up a camera and get on tape when my grandfather tell his stories from the war. I think it is a brilliant idea! And it is very important to do it soon, because he is not getting any younger. We should talk to those who lived during the war now, before it is too late.

I just had to put in a photo from WW2, it is the norwegian King Haakon the 7th and the next king, Olav. They were in Molde on the escape from the germans who bombed the city. The tree they stand infront has been called the King Birch, or like it is in norwegian "Kongebjørka". I am proud to say that this city is my hometown. The picture in the middle is Molde in July 1940. And the picture under is also Molde, but a very new picture. My hometown is called "The Rose City".

Two pictures above taken from here and the picture beneath taken from here

Over to something else. I have moved to another place in Norway to go to a school. At this school there are different programs you can choose between, and I am in the program that is called "Writer" or in norwegian it is called "Forfatterlinjen". Anyway, I am living at the school, so I share a room with another girl. The room is now very emty and I definteley do not get the feeling of living there. So the plan is to bring a lot of stuff from home, posters, movies, tv-series on dvd, among other things, to make it feel a lot more like home. I bought a big poster of Audrey Hepburn to hang on the wall, and I have to say I really love it!

A weekend in october my family and I were on the boat over to Kiel in Germany. The boat is called Colorline Fantasy. The reason we did this was because my grandfather (my father's father) turned 85 the 15th of October. So we wanted to celebrate him on this trip. I had the best time, and happy to be with the family, cause it is not that often we come together. But on the other hand I sometimes felt like I didn't really fit in there, felt like I wasn't there at all. Not saying that they shut me out or anything, but I guess that is a feeling that has been stuck with me since childhood. I tried to ignore it and just have fun, but at times the feeling wouldn't slip. Anyway, I am very glad that my grandfather got a big celebration, and I could see that he enjoyed himself, and that warmed my heart. Also we were informed that there is going to be an addition to the family. My halfbrother (my father's son) is going to be a father. Can't wait till the baby comes! I am going to be an aunt for the very first time, so can you really blame me for being excited?

Maybe all this is a little boring, but I felt like I had to inform you of what has happened lately, because I haven't been writing here that often. Really sorry about that. Just that I am this writer program, so I write a lot of stuff, therefore I have less time to write here. But I just want you to know that I love all my readers, and I really appriciate all the comments I get. Makes me feel less alone, and also it is good to know that people actually care.

I will posting another post very soon, I promise! This blog means a lot to me, it is the one place I can get outbourst for my feelings, my pain and passion in life that among some things is writing. Thank you for caring enough to read my blog.

- Story of my life -
M

a voice fading in the dark..

2010-08-08T19:04:00.010Z

Have you ever had a feeling that people have an ideal they expect you to live up to? I have, and those people are for one my parents, among other people. And if you do not live up to this ideal, you are not good enough to them, they get dissapointed in you. I have this feeling stuck in me that my parents never want to listen to what I have to say, seems like they get bored, like what I have to say is not important, or they just simply ignore me all together. I know I have said that I have this great family, but I am starting to think that maybe I have been blinded. Often as I tell them about something, they seem uninterested, but if my older brother or sister is telling them something, they listen in and are very interested in what they have to say. It is like I am not as important, like I am just a little kid who doesn´t have anything vice to say. Hurts very much to feel that your parents never care to listen, even though they never would admit it. I can't help to think that maybe my parents are actually happy that I am going away. They are so proud of my brother and sister, especially my brother, because he is so decent and independant. I strive to be that perfect daughter they want me to be, like my brother. My parents don´t know it, but I actually envy my brother. And something else they don't know is that I all the time try my best to please them, try to be the best daughter I can be. Maybe it is the best thing that could happen, if I just went away and never returned. They keep saying that my brother never got as much as my sister and me, and maybe he didn't, but I never wanted that. So I guess he has become some of a favorite, though they won´t admit it, and I don't blame them. I get it, because he is such a decent guy, with a good education, he is very smart and a great cook, and quite colorful and special. You see why I envy him? I actually wish I could switch places, I don't care about getting things, the things you get is not important to me. It is more important who you are, how you are on the inside. I have tried several times to talk to my parents about how I feel, but they just don't understand, I know I seem like a teenager in the middle of puberty, but it is true. Whenever I try to open up, I always end up in my room crying, because they find a way to turn it around on me.

I am so tired of feeling that I have to say and do things that a perfect daughter would do. I have seen these movies and series where the mother and father are really understanding and supportive. Oh, how many times I have dreamt about having it like that with my parents. I am going to do them a favor and just go away, because I will never live up to their expectations. In two weeks from now I will be going to a new school, far away from where I live now, and hopefully there will be people who I can relate to, people who are the same as me. Because the way I feel now is unbearable, it is a very lonely feeling, to feel misunderstood and unwanted. This is a feeling I have had for quite some time, even though I am smiling, doesn't mean I am happy. The pain is always lurking inside me. And I believe that as long as I stay here, that will never change, the pain will stick. No, I need to get out of here, far away, and meet new people who doesn't judge me for the past, who doesn't treat me like I am weak and small. Because that is how I feel whenever I am with people who have known me a long time, I feel weak and smaller than they are, like I am worth so much less. When I think about it, there is a thin line between life and death. Suddenly, you may not be there anymore, and then, everything is too late.

- Story of my life -
M

I am that kind of person..

2010-06-12T19:58:00.013Z

Dear readers,

Lately I have felt so much better, and I think it has to do with the fact that I am soon leaving for a school somewhere else in the country. To get away from here, has been my dream since like forever. I feel that I don´t really belong here, and I am sure I will meet someone more equal as I step out into the world. You see, I was ment to be somewhere else, I see it as one of my life missions to meet new people. That is one of my most important goals. Of course, I will never forget my family, they are very important to me, because they got me threw the tough times, they are the ones who have always been here for me no matter what. Seems like all the ones I know here in this little town, are all opposite of what I am. We could as well have been living on different planets. Almost all I ever see on facebook is, "going out tonight!", "there is going to be a lot of drinking this weekend" or "party tonight, who drives?". All in that area, if you catch my drift. It is at that time I am thinking "what am I doing here? the people I have more in common with are out there somewhere, and I am stuck here".
I am 18, soon 19 years old, I distance myself from alchol, I have never smoked, and I never will. And you know what? I am proud of it! You don´t need alcohol to have fun you know, and there is so much other things you can drink. Just so there are no misunderstandings, I have no problem with people who party all the time. Party till you drop for all I care, it is YOUR life. I am just the type of person who rather prefer sitting at home all cuddled up in the sofa, with a good book and a cup of tea. I just imagine myself in the future, in my own little apartment, perhaps in New York, all vintage style, enjoying my reading, making myself a cup of tea, maybe write some on a book I am working on. That sounds like martha in heaven to me. Because, that is the type of person I am, not a partygirl, not a girl who constantly needs attention, or always has to have the action. No, I am a quiet person, who likes my reading, who enjoys just laying in the grass staring up at the blue sky, appriciates the rare things in life, thinks history is quite interesting, and adore people who dare to stand out from the crowd. As I have told you before, almost all the girls in the town I live in are dressing quite alike. They have the same kind of style. In my opinion, it is very uninteresting. When I see someone dressing a little different, I think, "finally someone who dare to show who they really are, who are not afraid of being different, such bravery!" Those are the people I look up to, and admire, because they choose their own path.

photo from www.weheartit.com

One thing that makes me angry is all the shopping that they do here in this town. Buying themselves new clothes, even though they already have enough. If you ask me, I think it is very selfish, to always have to buy new things. There are people out there who are suffering, people who only worry about how to get something to eat, and those clothes you are buying may be clothes made by children who lives under lousy conditions. I myself, almost never go on shopping, I have a pair of pants I use very often, and I do not care so much for the shopping either. You know why? Because I know there is so much more important things in life, things that doesn´t just involve around yourself. It is not healty to always think about your appearance, how you look to others. I care about the environment, cause I now how much damage the humans are causing the planet. Also, I want to be a help to others, for example all the people in the world who has really low self-esteem, I know how that feels like, to be at the bottom of the bottom. If everbody cared only for themselves, only cared about their looks, then the world would not be a pretty place. I want to be able to help those with low self-esteem so much, because this is a big issue in the world today. This is caused a lot by the media, who presents a distorted image of the reality.
I am so glad that I am not that kind of person that always has to buy something new, always has to have the latest in fashion, and who has to be the center of attention all the time. Guess what? Those are the ones I get really tired of, the ones who scream the loudest, who needs to be the center of attention. I do not want to offend anyone, it is just how I feel about it.
I have my creativity, and I wouldn´t trade that for any clothing in the world. The creativity is one of the most precious gifts one can have.

photo from www.google.com

When it comes to reading, I am now finished with a second book about Eva Braun. And I have to say, I was very dissapointed. The writer had a lot of facts all wrong, and I didn´t know whether to trust the information or not. For one, he got a name wrong, Hermann Fegelein, he had written; Hermann Vegelein. There was also important things he had left out. The book was from 1985, I guess they knew a little less than we do now, but the writer should have done some research, and he would have a little more knowledge. My advice is, do not write a book about something you know almost nothing about, when it comes to history that is. Anyway, I have now lent a new book at the library. This is a biography about Hitler, written by Ian Kershaw, who is suppose to be an expert on Adolf Hitler. The book is on almost 1000 pages, and I can´t wait to get started on it. Anyone else who is a passionate history reader?

- Story of my life -
M

God granted free will..

2010-05-09T18:21:00.008Z

Dear readers,

At the moment I am reading a book about Eva Braun, written by Angela Lambert. I find world war two, especially the nazis, quite interesting. What they did was so monsterous and evil, and I will never understand how anyone can be that cruel. I just don´t get how anyone can be capable of killing millions of people in cold blood. But I believe everyone has a killer inside of them, it´s just that everyone is differently built. We are all different, and that´s why some become killers, while some keep it inside, or simply never looks there. The last one is most common, thank heaven for that. The more I think about it the more I feel like studying psychology. It sounds so interesting, the human mind. There is nothing more exciting than the human mind. What makes people do horrible, unforgiveable actions? What drives them? How can they live with themselves? How could the nazis live with themselves? I have a whole lot of questions I would have liked to ask the nazis, if I only lived at that time. But they would most likely kill me for asking any questions. How exciting wouldn´t it have been to be a fly on the wall during their conferences and get-togethers? VERY EXCITING, that´s what. But at the same time, it would be very disturbing and horrifying.

photo from www.weheartit.com

When I read about the world war 2, it almost seems unreal, it seems surrealistic and far from reality, like taken right out of a horrorstory. And the fact that it has only gone 70 years since the war, scares me. Just shows what the human is capable of. The war is a horrifying evidence of the humans ability of cruelty. In the end we are all just human, and God granted us free will. What God didn´t think of when he granted free will, was that someone takes advantage of it, and uses it to hurt other people. As long as the human has free will, there will never be peace here on earth, that is my opinion. But of course, one can always dream of a better world. Makes it bearable to live here. God knows I dream of that.

- Story of reality -
M

Behind the smile there is the pain

2010-03-29T20:18:00.014Z

The last thing I need are fake friends, people who pretend they care, who call themselves friends, but really, they don´t really care. I am not a plan B, someone to be used as a spare friend. I just want friends who accepts me for who I am, who are always there for me (and I will be there for them also). It doesn´t work if it just works one way, because then, you are just a spare, or a "Plan B".

I have always felt a loneliness, always felt like something was missing, and I have found out what that thing is.. friends. Everyone has them, and I envy those people. Who can say things like: "My friends are the best, I wouldn´t trade them for anything, we are always there for eachother", or "My best-friends are the best, we can talk about anything, and talk for hours on the phone, about everything". You may think; "why don´t you just go out and meet people?", well it isn´t that easy really, and I don´t feel like writing down my whole story either. It is impossible to make friends in the town that I live in. God knows I have tried. When you live through "invisible bullying" (means that you get bullied, but it doesn´t show, because it isn´t physical, it is psychological, wich can be even worse, because it doesn´t get noticed), you tend to start despising the place and the people. Sorry, I ment, you can´t help despising the place and the people.

Have you ever felt like you were invisible? I have. It is not a good feeling. Because it is like you don´t even excist. Then you can really start questioning your very own excistence. You have no idea how many times I came home from school crying my eyes out. Sometimes I even cried at school. I would go to the toilet, sit there and cry for a while, and then wipe them off, make sure no one saw that I had cried. It was this bad a few years ago (about 2 and a half years or so). Imagine that you have a nightmare, you just want to wake up so that it can be all over. Except, you don´t wake up, you never wake up, because you realise, to your own horror, that it is your reality. That was how I felt back then, it was a big and horrible nightmare, and it felt like it would never end. I am not overreacting when I am saying that I never want to see those people ever again. If I walk past them on the street, I won´t say hi, I won´t smile or nod, I don´t owe them anything. And if there is a reunion, they shouldn´t be suprised that I don´t show up.

photo from weheartit.com

In the end, I feel that, the only person I can trust, is myself. I have tried to trust people, over and over again, but I always end up getting hurt. And I am so sick of that, enough is enough. Even though I seem alright, even though I am smiling, doesn´t mean I´m fine, technically. Just means that I manage to keep it all inside, hidden away from everyone else to see. Friends are suppose to see that their friends keep something hidden, that they carry something heavy. And then they are supose to carry some of the weight together with you, so that you don´t have to feel so lonely. The loneliness can eat you up inside, and I think that it has already taken a few bites of me. Both the loneliness and the pain will eat you alive, and then there is some more pain.

Never forget that nothing is more important than friends, without friends, there is no purpose in life. Treasure your friends, consider yourself very lucky to have them.

- Story of my life -
M

be an individual, not a part of the crowd

2010-03-24T17:38:00.008Z

It has been so long since I wrote here, I am sorry about that, it´s just that I have had so much else on my mind, and the homework has taken over my life almost completely. Anyway, I am going to get to what I am suppose to talk about in this post.

Have you ever felt sometimes that it is just too much? That you feel like you want to dig yourself a grave and jump right into it? You have no idea how many times I have felt like that. So many times I can´t even count. At the end of the day (today), after school, my mom came and picked me up, and the tears just popped out of my eyes. It was the weirdest thing, I couldn´t seem to stop crying, even though I tried. Obviously, as you may see, I didn´t have such a good day. There was first just one thing that went wrong, but then everything started to get worse and worse. Sometimes I wonder if life is ever going to get better. What if this is as good as it gets? Then frankly, I do not want it that badly. I am not getting suicidal or anything, I just have to get it out of my system. I swear, if anything else happens now, that will top it all.

Lately I have been noticing how incredibly boring my life is. Every day, it is the same routine. To tell you the truth, I am quite finished with the town I live in, soon the country. If you lived in a town where almost, and then I mean just almost everybody looks the same, I think you would be very excited to get out of there, as am I. I have said it before and I will say it again, I can´t stand all those bimbos/wannabees in this town for much longer, they are almost everywhere. When I go to the mall they are there, when I go to the buss-station, they are there, when I go to the movies, and YES, they are there. I know I am complaining a lot in this post, but everyone is aloud to complain once in while right?

But just because they are all over the place, just because they wear all those "fancy" clothes, and all that make-up, doesn´t mean they are special, it means they are a crowd of people, not individuals. I for one, am glad that I am an individual. Why don´t I dress up like them? Because I am my own person, there are so much more important things in life than clothes and make-up. I am not saying that they shouldn´t go shopping, go to the solarium, party and all that other stuff, be my guest, shop till you drop for all I care! Just know that there are more important things in life than how you look and how much clothes you have, or how tan you are. My opinion is that it is very selfish and it is being quite self-obsorbed, not to mention unhealty. The world just doesn´t spin around one person, and some people really need to realize that. What if everyone was THAT self-obsorbed? Then the world wouldn´t function.

beautiful picture from weheartit.com

I know about girls who buy new clothes almost every week, what is up with that? Where do they get the money for all those clothes? And yes, we have the answer, don´t we? Either they get the money from their parents, or, they have a job at some fashionboutiqe and earn the money themselves. You would think that the job-thing is better right? Actually, not really. How will they survive when they have to make a living? Get out there and be on their own? They will not survive for a second (well, maybe a second, but never more than a week). Because there are so many other things you need to spend money on, things you REALLY need. Either they have to be really spoiled, and get everything they want, or they are super-extraordinary. The last one is just not an option. When you get out there, you really see how tough life is (can be), and you can´t just run around buying new clothes everytime you feel like it. And think about people who don´t even have clothes, they can barely make it, have you ever thought of those people? I bet you never think of those people while you are at your weekly/daily shoppinground.

- Story of my life -
M

I miss you so much it hurts..

2010-02-06T16:01:00.003Z

I miss you so much it hurts.. I can´t stop crying, the tears just keep coming, and I have this feeling in my stomack that won´t go away. So many tears I cried yesterday when the family said goodbye. As I cried I found it hard to breath, it felt like it wouldn´t get any better, it felt hopeless. It feels like a lump in my throat, like there is something there to stop me from breathing. My dearest grandfather, you were the best grandfather one could have. Such a good man, always kind and thoughtful. So many loved you, and you had so many you loved back. It is going to be really hard to go on knowing I can´t see you again, I can never give you a hug or see your smile. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and be a little girl again, then I could see you, and grandma. The only thing stopping me from totally breaking down, is the thought of you and grandma up in heaven together. I WILL see you again, I won´t give up on that, to think something else is unbearable. I will meet you in heaven, when my time is up here on earth.

beautiful picture from weheartit.com

Yesterday was the funeral, and I know now that I need to go on, I can´t STOP living. But it is going to be so difficult, and even though the worst is over, the grief won´t really stop. It will always be inside of me, lurking, and sometimes it will come out in tears, sometimes in anger. I promise you that I will try to laugh, to smile and enjoy life, but what I can´t promise is that I will pretend that there is no pain, that I don´t feel like something is missing. I wrote a poem that I said in your funeral. It was not difficult to go up and say it, but as I was done I felt how I trembled.

Why does it have to be so much pain in the world? We go through life here on earth, either we are good or bad, we do a lot of things. Sometimes I wonder, what is the point of living here, we are going to die some day, WHEN our time is to go, is unknown for us. Whenever we die, what will happen to us? That is the big mystery, no one really knows for sure, because nobody has died and woken up again to tell us what happened. That is a reason why you don´t have to be afraid to die, it a mystery you get to figure out.

It is so important to treasure each and every moment here on earth, because each one may be your last. Always remember the moments that made you smile, or laugh. Keep in memory all the times you fell down, because that has only made you stronger, you got back up and decided to be brave. Life is so fragile, and so very short (unfortunately), that is why we must enjoy our time here on earth, never take anything for granted.

You are both gone, grandma and grandpa, you aren´t among us here on this earth anymore. But your spirits will forever live. And you will also forever stay in my heart, you will never fade, never leave. I know you have peace now, and I am grateful, because I know you lived a long and happy life. Your thoughtfulness and warmth was neverending, actually, I can still feel it..

- Story of my life -
M

what do I want to do with my life?

2010-02-04T16:09:00.003Z

Hello everyone!

I am really wondering about what to do with my life. I mean, in what direction should I go? There is so much to do, so many jobs out there, and I am not really that good at making decisions. Very often I tend to use a long time deciding on things. But I know what it stands between now. I am standing between acting, working in a magazine, working as a photographer or.. well, that is as far as I have come. Many people at my age wonders about what direction they should choose. And that direction is very important, because it is your life and your future. At least it is very important to me (most likely to others too).

Let´s imagine working in a magazine. Something like, Vogue or Cosmopolitan or.. something else big. To be able to live of your writing, to just do what you love for a living. Now, that sounds like heaven to me. That would really be "Martha in heaven", if you know what I mean. But I am definitely writing a book. I want to write a book about self-esteem and selfconfidence, because there is so many out there who don´t believe in themselves, they don´t think they are good enough. Let me tell you something, you ARE, and do not let anyone break you down, just keep on moving forward and follow your dreams, that is very important.

It is now time for me to start applying for schools I want to go to. There is so many to pick between, so I am honestly not sure what to do. Hope I do the right choice, so that I don´t end up regretting it later, that is very like me.. Anyway, I am going to look into myself and see what it is I really want to do, and then I will make a decission, however easy that will be. Whatever I do I will go in with my whole heart and really enjoy it, because let´s face it, life is just too short.

I love to write, and I guess you can see that just by looking at the length of this or any other post on my blog. But I have always loved it you know. Wether it is a novel, a personal text, or poems. So what can I do with that, I can´t live of being a writer, if I am going to do that for a living I have to be... J.K Rowling, that´s who I have to be! Anyway, I do need to earn some money on it, so it will have to sell good. And first of all I need someone who would want to publish it. Sometimes I ask myself, why does life have to be so difficult? Oh, of course, I do have the answer in the back of my head: Makes it interesting. I guess.

I would really love to just live life, and by that I mean REALLY LIVE LIFE, to the fullest. You know what, I will do that, I am going to do that. But right now I am stuck, or not stuck pursee, I just have to get through this schoolyear, and by then I am a little bit more free to do whatever I want. So I cannot wait till I get away from here, to go away and meet new people, see the world, and grow, and as I pointed out, live life to the fullest.

- Story of my life -
M

Imagine

2010-01-14T07:50:00.002Z

"Imagine that you live in a heaven palace"

"Imagine that you never get hurt"

"Imagine that no one would do you harm"

"Imagine that you lived forever"

"Imagine that everyone was the same"

"Imagine that everyone looked exactly the same"

"Imagine that we never fought, and argued"

"Imagine that there were no beginning and no end"

"Imagine that everyone were friends"

"Imagine that there was no evil"

"Imagine that there was no violence"

"Imagine that we were always happy"

"Imagine that everything was a promise"

"Imagine that we all lived in harmony"

"Imagine that no human felt sorrow"

"Imagine that we never died"

"Imagine that nobody was alone"

"Imagine that everyone had friends"

"Imagine that no one were bullied"

"Imagine that nothing could hurt us"

"Imagine that there were no discrimination"

"Imagine that no one starved"

"Imagine that nobody were homeless"

"Imagine that there were no criminals"

"Imagine that we never froze"

"Imagine... But never in this world"

I know what is most important..

2009-12-13T01:04:00.005Z

I know what is most important... To be yourself, be honest and kind, to care about other people, and just live your life. What you don´t do is to live someone else´s life, if you know what I mean. I can never say this enough, be YOURSELF. There is nothing more inspiring and admirable than someone who stands out, someone who dares to be something different then everyone else. The people I look up to the most are people who have their own style, people who don´t care what other people think of them, people who really are one of a kind. These are people who can walk down the street with no make up and still hold their head up high and smile.

I feel sorry for those who have to follow everyone else, those who just copy other people, and can never do something of their own. People who take other´s ideas. Those who can´t make their own identity. I believe those people will find themselves lost some day.

I am sure I could write many songs about being yourself, about standing out. Also about all the fashion pressure, and all the girls with too much make up and hairspray. It scares me that 10 year old girls is looking like 16 year-olds. With a mobile phone in one hand and a purse in the other, they hang at the mall. When I was little, all I wanted to do was to be a child. To play with barbie, dolls and to play hide and seek. Where did the childhood go? To be honest, I miss it. I wish I could be a child again, to play outside, pretending to cook dinner, play with barbies, and run around and just feel free.

There is not many natural girls in the city I live. Most of the girls here are either a snob, a bimbo, or both. Also there is not much colorfulness here, almost everyone dresses the same. I will tell you what I call that; BORING! When I go to the mall all I see is these girls. With the same clothes, the same hair, same makeup, same everything. When I see a girl at the mall all I think is; aah, same as the rest of them... I am grateful that I don´t follow the crowd.

I would much rather be colorful and different, than dissapear in the crowd.

Well, here is something for you; it is the people who stands out and dares to be different than everyone else who really go somewhere in life. They are the ones keeping the world going. Without creative and colorful people, the world would be a pretty boring place. You can´t deny it.

- Story of my life -
M

there is a reason for my being, I will tell my story..

2009-11-21T12:15:00.011Z

Why does the rain make me feel so sad? Maybe because the rain reminds of the many tears I have cried. Maybe it reminds me of all the times I were outside and got all wet and cold. Maybe it is the sound that makes me remember my heart breaking. Or maybe it is simply reminding me of all the tough times I have felt alone, and sitting in silence.. just listening to the rain falling, like big drops of pain. - Written by Martha (me)

Sometimes it seems like even how hard I try, nothing is ever good enough. I try to make people satisfide, maybe I should stop doing that. I care too much about others, and very little of myself. But that is who I am, that´s how I have always been. If there was a cake to share, I was the one who took the smallest piece. Now I see that if I want to get anywhere I have to take the biggest piece sometimes too. Not let anyone take my piece either. As you can hear, I am not just talking about a piece of cake anymore. No, I am talking about my life, and about the prinsipals.

I live in a small city far north. It´s here I was borned and grew up. It is here my family is. But that´s it. I am going to leave here, and hopefully start a whole new life somewhere else, where I know none. That was how everything got better the last time, I started in a new class with no familiar faces. Finally I could make some friends and be happy about going to school, not dreading it and feeling like I didn´t belong in this world. So when I leave here, the only reason I would ever come back is because of my family, they are the only ones ever being there for me a hundred prosent and supporting me. Another thing that kept me going was the music, my poetry and passion for writing. And of course, my dreams. My dreams of a better life, of something better than this, a life where I don´t feel alone.

Next year everything will change, I am going to a school somewhere else in the country. And hopefully everything will go uphill from there. Hopefully after I am done there I get to go to school in USA, that is my dream, well at least one of them.

But I am still wondering what I am good as, is it an actress? A photographer? A writer? A model? I am not sure. I love to be creative, that is my passion. So what do I do when I have many things to pick between? Life is difficult, but I am grateful that I have been given the gift of creativity.

I will promise you this though: Some day I WILL write a book and have it published. And that book is going to help others out there that are like me, feels lonely and don´t have many friends, people who are good at so many things, but can´t see it. This is people who have big dreams, but low self-esteem. I want to reach out to all of them, because I know that they deserve a better life.

While I am at it, I will also promise you this: I will never give up on my dreams, and I will never let anyone destroy them. There is nothing that is going to take me down, because I now I have talents, and I believe in me, anyone who can say that and mean it, will in the end, win. Okay, so I don´t have a lot of friends, but I will meet new people, and hopefully they will be lifelong friends. Maybe it was meant to be that I wasn´t going to have a lot of friends, maybe God decided that this would be my story, and that I am going to use my story to help others. I believe that is my mission in life.

My life hasn´t been easy, I have never been served anything on a silver platter (speaking NONE literally). But to tell you the truth, I am happy that I am not a spoiled brat who didn´t work for anything in life. For example, I don´t have a job, it is almost impossible to get a job in the small town I live in. Either you have to be a bimbo or you need to know some people. You have to dress like every other bimbo in town. But NO, I will not submit to it, I am ME and I am proud to stand out from the crowd. I like to be one of a kind, not dissapear in the crowd. Just so you know.

- Story of my life -
M

only you can make it happen..

2009-11-15T01:24:00.009Z

I try to be a positive and happy person. Sometimes it can be very hard, because you really don´t feel like being happy and positive, you just feel like going home and cry your eyes out. How can I pretend to smile, when all I want to do is cry? You have no idea how many times I have wanted to cry, and I couldn´t. It have been times when it have hurt so much, that I didn´t think I would ever recover. But here I am, strong as ever. Something important to point out is that, and I can´t say this too often, what doesn´t kill you, only makes you stronger. There is some truth in that. Believe me when I say that I have been very far down at the bottom, and that is a dark place to be. You do have to remember though, that someone put you there. And that person is none other than yourself, with a capital Y. No one can make you feel bad about yourself more than YOU. If you feel very down, and you feel like the whole world is against you, please remember that you are not alone. That can be very hard to remember as you sit there putting yourself down, but give it a try. It is your attitude and your spirit that helps you build your self-esteem.

When you are out and you see all these beautiful girls with designer clothes and great make up, you can choose NOT to see them. Focus on yourself, be yourself, remember what you talents are, remember what makes YOU special and unique, and THEN you can take a look at them again. Then you can name something that makes THEM so special, yeah, I am sure you name beauty, style, fashioninteligence, great infront of cameras. But what are really those things compared to, colorful, loyal, smart, honest, good writer, good to play the guitar ?

I have always said, I will rather be colorful than be like everybody else. Everyone is so obsessed with fashion and beauty, that they have completely lost sight of what is real. And what is real is that really it doesn´t matter how you dress, as long as you make it your own. Make your own style, don´t try to copy everyone else, just find the style that YOU are comfortable with. If you have your own style, people easier notice you, because you are not fading away in the crowd.

I don´t like copycats, whether it is about fashion or something else. You want to play safe? Follow the crowd. You want to be one of a kind? Be yourself.

- Story of my life -
M

There is no such thing as free candy..

2009-10-31T18:50:00.005Z

Melanie walks down the dark street among all the leaves. She doesn´t like the dark, the big dark trees are so close and so threatening, and she feels like she sees shadows almost everywhere. Wasn´t there a lot of kids here just a second ago? Everyone is suddenly gone, and all there´s left is emty papers from the candy. The pumpkins at Mrs. H´s house is cut out in a very scary way. The way they look, like they are watching her as she walks by, sends chills down her spine. Melanie slowly walks up to Mrs. H´s door. She always had all the good candy, and she was a very nice old lady with the most beautifully decorated house. Melanie rings the doorbell, but no one opens the door. She rings it one more time, but there is no sign of Mrs. H.
"Where are everyone?", Melanie thinks to herself. "Why does it look like something has happened?" A noise interupt her thoughts, and she quickly turns around to see where the noise came from. Nothing. Only the big dark trees and all the papers from the eaten candy. Melanie suddenly get a creepy feeling...that something is wrong, hideously wrong. "Hello!!" she yells with her highest voice. No answer. Maybe she should just go on home. So she starts walking towards her own house. What she finds suspicious is that all of the houses she walks past is all filled with darkness. Each and every house looks deserted, like the people had been escaping from something. Taken with them what they could get their hands on and just ran.
When Melanie returns to her own house, she gasps. Chills run up and down her spine. What is this? "Is this some kind of a sick joke!?!" she can feel the tears popping out of her eyes as she stands there, looking at her parents... hanging down from a tree.
"Mom! Dad!" Melanie yells, as she runs towards them. But none of them answers her. They wouldn´t do this to her, not something so cruel as letting her believe that they are dead. Suddenly something catches her eye, a poster. It says "LOCK YOUR DOORS, MENTAL PATIENT ESCAPED TONIGHT", and then there was a picture of the so called mental patient. "Oh..." is all Melanie manage to choke out. She could feel her whole body freeze up, she start to lose feelings in her arms, her legs. Never in her life had she been so frightened and scared. And she is all alone, all by herself... What if the mental patient were in the street already? And taken all the children? The more she is thinking, the more scarier the thoughts become. Suddenly a voice interupts her thinking. "The world is a cruel place... but you know, there is no such thing as free candy". Melanie can feel the goosebumps coming, she can feel the chills down her spine, but she cannot move. "Www-hho aaa-rrr...", Melanie stutters, but doesn´t finish the sentence. "I think you know... You know, we all go a little MAD sometimes." Then the person laughs a high and evil laugh. It is the most terrifying sound she has ever heard. Then she snaps out of her temporary paralyzis, and she turns quickly around to see who it is. As she watches the person infront of her, she recognices the hair, the eyes, the same disturbing smile... everything. The person standing infront of her is none other than the escaped mental patient. Melanie take one step backwards. "Trick or Treat?!?" the mental patient snaps at Melanie, and slowly walks towards her with a disturbing smile on his mouth. "I think we´ll have to go with trick, don´t you think?!", he pulls up a rope. "You don´t mind sharing tree with your parents I hope", he laughs the same laugh, filled with evil. "HELP!!", Melanie yells the highest she can manage, but she knows it is wasteless. As he is about to take the rope around her neck, she wakes up.

"Oh, honey, I think you were having a nightmare", Melanie´s mother, Sylvia is sitting at her bedside with a cup of hot chocolate. "Yes, I think I were, what a relief". She follows her mom downstairs to the kitchen. "Your costume is ready, I asume you are walking together with Michelle and the others?" Sylvia asks as she sits down on one of the kitchenchairs. "Yes, we....", Melanie stops her sentence. Her eye catches something, at the frontpage of the newspaper..... She can feel her body freeze as she reads the shocking headline: "LOCK YOUR DOORS, MENTAL PATIENT ESCAPED TONIGHT".....

Happy Halloween.......

- Story of Halloween -
M

my new york fairytale will come true some day..

2009-10-10T14:58:00.009Z

I have big plans for the future, as you have heard before I believe. One of my future dreams is like this:

Me living in New York in an loft-apartment in the middle of the city. There is many café´s there and a big park (Central Park). To the park I will take my little babygirl (Isabella) and our golden retriever (Johnny, maybe, the name I am not sure of yet). She will play in the playground there and run around with the dog on the green gras. As I am watching her I sit on a bench talking to my three very good friends who each of them also have a little girl. Our girls play together as we sit and talk about anything/everything. In the wintertimes I play in the snow together with my girl, we make a snowman and snowangels. When we aren´t in the park, I go to the café and meet up with my very good friends. My husband works in a big firm and has a high status (he almost always wears a nice suit). But he has enough time for work and still manage to spend time with his family. I work as an actress, and I am also writing a book.

My very good friends and I go together on shopping, buying clothes and stuff for our kids. And of course we make time to go shopping for ourselves, just the girls.

At bedtime I tuck my little babygirl into bed, then I read her a bedtime story till her eyes closes. Then I kiss her goodnight. Were there ever such a sweet girl? I turn off the lights and go into the livingroom where I write a little on my book. When it starts to get late I go to bed and read a little. My husband comes home and comes to bed, he take his arms around me and kisses me goodnight, even though I have already fallen asleep. I always feel safe, because he lies there right next to me. If I have a bad dream or have seen a movie I shouldn´t have, his strong arms are there to hold me close to him.

When my husband is at businesstrips, the girls and I have a sleepover at my place. They bring their little girls over, and when the kids have fallen asleep, we watch a movie and eat dinner, and just talk all night.

Christmas is the magical holiday. At Christmas the three of us go to my husbands family for dinner on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day we are at home with our beautifully decorated tree with a lot of presents under it. Among the gifts that Isabella gets, she gets a meaningful snowglobe from her daddy that he found at a one of a kind giftshop on one of his businesstrips.

I can see it all so clearly. That is the kind of familylife I dream of. It just hit me. I want all of this.

I hope I will get my happy ending..

- Story of my life -
M

I am a red crayon among black pencils..

2009-10-09T15:53:00.005Z

I am a colorful girl with a lot of creativity in me.

I love to do acting
I love to sing
I love to dance
I love to take pictures with my camera
I love to write

I want to become an actress
I will continue to write songtexts and sing
I may need my dancingskills in (hopefully) future acting jobs
I will continue to take pictures and save memories
I want to give out a book one day

I feel so lucky to have been given the gift of creativity. I wouldn´t trade it for anything. Because creative ideas and creative actions you can earn money on. That would be heaven. To be able to make money for doing something you love, use your creativity. That´s my dream.

Where I live there is a lot of "bimbos", they are everywhere, and it is only getting worse. Girls with platinablond hair, 7 pounds of make up and cares only about, guys, partying, their friends, clothes and being tan. They may deny it as much as they like, but believe it or not, they are very selfish. This is one of the reasons I can´t wait to get out of here. I don´t fit in here, not at all. I am a red crayon among black pencils.

In the bottom of my heart I can feel that I was suppose to be somewhere else. My spirit, my heart is somewhere else. And I think it is this place I am suppose to use my creativity, because there I can do it good, there I can just be ME. God has a plan for everyone. You may be wondering if I believe in God. I really, really want to believe in God, because that means someone is watching over us. What is easier to believe (that is what I believe), is that everyone may have a guardian angel.

Do you believe in miracles?
Do you believe in angels?
Do you believe in God?

Let me ask you some questions that is a little different but kind of the same;

Do you believe in the good?
Do you believe in yourself?
Do you believe in love?

I choose to believe. And if you believe and have faith, you can do almost anything. Just don´t let anyone tell you that you can not do it, that what you want in life is unrealistic or stupid. You just keep moving forward, keep holding on to that dream, in the end, you´ll see that it was all worth it.

I know I am going to. And remember to be yourself no matter what, because when you are yourself is when you shine the brightest. Dare to show yourself for who you are, and don´t copy everyone else. Make your very own style and dare to stand out. Be UNIQUE and be COLORFUL.

- Story of my life -
M

keep on dreaming, it will keep you alive..

2009-10-07T13:14:00.007Z

In my case it is as good as true. My dreams are the only thing keeping me going. Since I was a little girl I have always been the girl with dreams. Big hopes for the future and plans. I would be a superstar and live in a big mansion with a swimmingpool and everyone who ever picked on me or bullied me in any way, would regret everything and wishing that they were my friends.

As I grew my dreams changed. I started to dream about USA, and about writing a book. I also started to dream about becoming an sucsessful actress. Now those dreams are not only my dreams, they are big hopes and plans for the future. I will make it work, in one way or the other, theese hopes will come true.

There are many people out there that may think they got me all figured out. But guess what, you don´t. I am nothing like what you believe I am. Not even my closest friends really know who I am. People SAY they care, but hey, here comes the truth; they really don´t give a damn. There are people who give someone a compliment just to make THEMSELVES look good. These are people who are nice and kind to you face to face and upfront, but behind your back they show their true colors and talk only trash about you. Why is this? I am thinking it is because really they are just insecure and jealous. They feel better about themselves. And that, THAT is selfish and cruel. People like that don´t end up like sucsessfull people, because they just don´t deserve it.

So be good and treat people with respect. Remember, don´t judge a book by its cover.

Dreams come true, believe it, it´s true. Dreams come true for those who believe in them..

- Story of my life -
M

It´s not always easy to be one of a kind..

2009-10-05T14:04:00.004Z

I was at the mall today, to seek a job. Didn´t go very well, they said they didn´t need anyone right now, so I just have to keep searching. It´s not so easy to find a job here in this little town. I feel like I don´t really belong here, I don´t fit in, at ALL.

I can say as they do in the song, "I left my heart in San Fransisco", only switch San Fransisco to Los Angeles, and you have my saying.

Not only did I have no luck with the job thing, but the weather is awful too. It is snowing in october. What is up with that? I thought snow belonged in december, january and february.. apperantly I was mistaken.

So, as I said I am going to keep looking for that job, hoping and praying I will find one very soon. It does seem like, either you have to know some people, or you have to be a bimbo. I am neither, so, wish me luck, I am going to need it.

But I really want to work in a café or something, that sounds really great. My brother works in a café. Lucky guy.

- Story of my life -
M

I find light, even in the dark places..

2009-10-04T20:54:00.003Z

Yes, I have been some dark places. I have been far down at the bottom of the bottom. It may seem hard to believe, but if you never give up hoping, if you keep holding on to your dreams and your goals, you CAN reach them. The only one stopping you to get there is you. Because I´ll tell you what, you don´t let anyone tell you that you can not do it. Don´t listen to them, you just keep moving forward, keep walking towards the light. You´ll get there in time.

I have a big dream. I have had it for quite some time now, and I now that some day, it will come true. No one is going to stop me from reaching my goals and my dreams. You will realize that the ones who always told you that you couldn´t do it, that you weren´t good enough, they were all wrong, and they are the losers, not you. You will also realize that the ones standing by you all the time, cheering you on, they will stay true and always be there for you.

This was just something I felt I had to get off my chest. There is a lot of things I need to get of my chest, but I cannot write all this in one post, there wouldn´t be enough room for that. But I will write again soon, I promise. Gosh, I love to write in english, and I love to talk in english.

- Story of my life -
M

WRITING A BOOK

2009-05-07T06:38:00.005Z

I have decided to write a book. A book about self-esteem and selfconfidence. My goal is to reach people with low self-esteem and lift up their self-esteem.

In the book you will read thoughts around it, conclusions, tip and a few poems wich has something to do with self-esteem, selfconfidence and how you feel about yourself.

Do you have low self-esteem or did you have before?

I have to admit, I have had very low self-esteem, but with a family that cares about me that is very helpful. So now, I see myself a lot more confident then I was before. It takes time, but it CAN happen, and if you are determined it WILL happen.

I have always been a shy girl, who hasn´t said much. That doesn´t mean I am just LIKE THAT. It is so far from the truth. Actually, I am more of a listener, and it can be harder to listen than to talk. People may think that I don´t like to talk, or that I am a boring person. Well, people may think whatever they like, but they don´t know anything. To tell you the truth if you get to know me, you´ll find out that I am not just a shy girl. But I am not as shy anymore.

Let me tell you what kind of person I am so we got that cleared up.

I am a kind, caring and colorful girl. I am very interested in the environment and as you already know, I want to help people with low self-esteem and build it up by writing a book.

In the end, nobody is perfect.
Everybody is special and unique in their own way,
and that is what I believe.

Enjoy what you have and be happy about who you are, because only you are you.

Hope you will read the book when it comes out! :)

Love, M

BUTTERFLYKISSES<3

2009-04-26T19:19:00.003Z

Well, I have another blog now, that´s why I haven´t been writing here for a long time. But I will try to write some here too. The other blog is called www.butterflykisses.blogg.no and is my norwegian blog. Please check it out! :)

As I said, I will be writing here too, after all, I love english the most <3

Love, M

NEW BLOG?

2009-04-02T07:38:00.002Z

Hey everyone! As you can see it was the first post last post that I actually wrote on Norwegian, that was not on purpose, it was just a glip. Anyway, I am thinking of maybe going over to a norwegian blog again on blogg.no, what do you think of that? This blog doesn´t resieve a lot of comments, so I am seriously considering making a new active blog. I have two more blogs http://marttha.ipublish.no/ and one can´t remember the name on. Maybe a norwegian blog this time?

Please write on comments, and say your opinon, should I get a blog on blogg.no?

Love,
Martha <3

HVA KOSTER DENNE JAKKEN?

2009-03-31T15:46:00.002Z

Hva tror du denne jakken koster?

Etter min mening så skulle den kostet maks 100 kroner.

Men aner du hva den koster? Svar og tipp i kommentarfeltet!

Dette er gøy!

Hugs&Kisses,
Martha

<3 COOKIES <3

2009-03-29T21:31:00.010Z

Cookies with chocolate is the best!

Cookies and milk, yum <3

If you think that I spent all my day eating cookies, you are way off.

Most of my day was spent by doing homework and vacuuming. Sounds like fun huh?
So, am I the only one having a lots of homework, or is someone charing my destiny?

WOW, look at the time! I´ve gotta go to bed and get some sleep!

School tomorrow, not tempting... buuut, it´s destiny after all.

Love,
Martha

STOP THE DISCRIMINATION

2009-03-23T18:35:00.010Z

I have a wonderful saying, or just something I thought was really good that I came up with today;

"If women have to go around with hijab, men sure as hell have to wear panties with a lock on it that only women has the key to!"
-Martha S.

For those of you that thinks that this is a good idea, say YES!

There has been too much discrimination of women over the years, and it is really ridicilous that men thinks that they are better than women. Well, let´s see where they would be without us!

Men that say yes to discrimination, are a bunch of cowards, and not very attractive I must say. A man that respects you is the sexiest there is, incase you are intrested!

Over to something else, I am going to buy a PSP (Playstation Portable) some day this week hopefully. I have been wanting a PSP for a really long time, and finally it is happening! On it you can play many different kind of games, among them The Sims (love it), listen to music, have images and videos! I want a black one ;

LOVE IT <3

Love,
Martha <3

JUST LIKE A TATTOO

2009-03-22T19:06:00.004Z

I got a tattoo! Just look!

Ok, so it is not a real tattoo, just a fake tattoo I got from Junior V6 chewing gum. But hey, I think it´s pretty cool anyway, and with a guitar and everything!

Do you have any tattoos, real ones?

Lots of Love,
Martha <3

BLACK & WHITE VS. COLORS

2009-03-18T20:27:00.008Z

What if I lived in a black and white movie in the 50´s? Why do we like to see colors? Is it because we like to know exactly how things look like? If it is black and white, do we get the wrong impression? Is the fact that there are colors very assuring to us?
I believe we like to know exactly how things look like, because if they are black and white it is not real to us, it becomes a little too far away from the truth. But maybe it is boring too? With no colors there is no "excitement" in the picture. But I believe when they only made black and white films, they focused more on the story, the act and the IMPORTANT things, wich actually made the films quite good. So why did we stop making black and white films? Well, because of the technology. We moved on to the next level in the development.

Lots of love,
Martha <3

I HAVE A DREAM

2009-03-17T07:33:00.009Z

I have a dream
that when I grow up
I will reach all my goals
I have a dream that
every land have piece
and that no child will starve
I have a dream that I will
live in a big white house
with a swimmingpool
I have a dream about
a man in a suit
I have a dream that
one day I will go to USA
I have a dream that
friends are there to stay
I have a dream that
you´ll hear everything I have to say
I have a dream that
the best is yet to come
I have a dream that
that tomorrow
will come
I have a dream that
yesterday is gone
I have a dream that
all is to hope
and believe that
my dreams
will some day
come true
...
I have DREAMS

Love,
Martha <3

SUMMERDRESS <3

2009-03-15T20:19:00.003Z

A while ago I got a new summerdress from Bik Bok. I abseloutely LOVE it! And I got a white tights to go with it. I am so ready for summer right now. I bet most of us are.

The beautiful summerdress that I am so INLOVE with

I know this was a very BRAGGING post, but honestly, I don´t care! I want to scream it from the rooftops, I LOVE IT!

Love,
Martha <3

MY NEW BEST FRIEND

2009-03-15T00:28:00.007Z

Well, at last I have the guitar here. Her name is Savannah, and she is black baby. I am going to learn how to play guitar, it is a class that goes on as long as a school year. Really looking forward to it! I have written a lot of texts that I would love to add a melody to.

And here she is, Savannah;

Do YOU have a name on your guitar ?

Do you play any instrument, if you have, how long have you played ?

This was musical post.

LotOfLove,
Martha

FRIDAY THE 13th

2009-03-13T09:00:00.006Z

Today it is Friday the 13th and I have already been a little freaked out. I woke up this morning, went to the bathroom, took a shower, and put make up on. The weird thing was that I was so tired, and I didn´t feel very well. And then I looked at the time, wich said 2:30 am. It was in the middle of the night. That explains why I was so tired and didn´t feel well. So then I took off my make up and went back into bed.

Something else happened today, wich was a little weird. I was finished having gym and was walking to the school. When I was very close to the school, there came some men (foreign), they were walking in a line, and everyone looked at me as they passed.

And yesterday, I was Pippi Longstocking;

Take care!

Lots of Love,
Martha

OUT FOR A WALK

2009-03-07T16:40:00.007Z

My dog Tinka and I went out for a walk earlier. What a wonderful day it is! I´m feelin the spring is coming now, but I am longing for the summer. Well, it will come.

The sun was up high when I was walking, and that was just perfect.

The shaddow will always follow..

Into the light..

Do you have a dog you take a walk with now and then, or every day?

Lots of Love
Martha

R.I.P DAYS

2009-03-05T08:55:00.009Z

Days Of Our Lives is one of my favorite shows. And now it is on its way down. Well, after my favorite actors were sent away, Marlena and John (Deidre and Drake) for those of you that didn´t know that, I haven´t been so very interested anymore. Feel as if they are trying to make Days become one of those teenage cliché tv-series, like Gossip Girl, The OC and One Three Hill. There is a reason I don´t watch that you know, because I like a little more mature television, were there is romance and chemistry between characters. And I really don´t want to see these younger actors that are my age, dealing with "problems" or "LIFE", something, as a matter of fact, I do every day.
It is not every younger people that want´s to see people at their age on screen. That is just the facts people!

John and Marlena were the highest payed actors in the show, and why? Because they are the best. And why on earth do you go around and fire the best actors you have? Sorry, I just don´t get what is going on in that head of yours Ken Corday. It is time to step up and do something to save your show, and if you are not interested, I suggest to give it to someone who really cares about the show. I am sorry, I don´t mean to be mean or something, I am just saying what I think, and I believe very many agree with me.

What about the head writer, Dena? You can´t come up with any storyline for the supercouple? Sorry, but I don´t buy that. How hard can it be? And after all, it is your job, and if you can´t write, I suggest you find yourself a new job. I have actually started to write a kind of storyline for Marlena and John, I am not a pro, it´s not my job, but hey, at least I am trying, wich is more than I can say for the head writer of Days.

To write for a show, you have to have passion for the whole show, not only for one person, or not just for the younger actors.

The fans of Days knows what has to be done, and I suggest you listen to your fans, becuase if you don´t... well, you know what happens.

You know what I would have done if I was the executive producer? I would fire the actors that people really didn´t care about, such as younger actors that I for myself feel doesn´t have a big impact on the show. And other people that are just hanging around. And then I would keep the big ones, such as Deidre Hall, Drake Hogestyn, Thaoo Phenglis, Leann Hunley, Kristian Alfonso, Peter Reckell, Mary Beth Evans and Stephen Nichols. You know, the good ones. You can fire many useless actors, and you get to keep the good ones, wich means that you don´t lose viewers, and the show will survive.

Again, this is just my opinion. I actually signed a contract, a campaign to keep Drake and Deidre on the show. Hope it works.
Please comment and say what you think about the firings, but keep it cool.

I will probably talk about this in another post.

Lots of Love,
Martha

LONGING FOR SUMMER

2009-03-02T10:56:00.012Z

Ready for the summer! I am so tired of the long and boring winter. Now I only look forward to the summertime baby! It´s going to be wonderful. To sit outside in the warm summerbreeze, drink ice tea peach with some ice cubes, eat some strawberries, take a ride on my bike when the sun is on its way down because it is still a nice temprature, even though the time is half past eight in the evening. And the first thing you do after breakfast in the morning is to take on a top and shorts and go outside and maybe play some badminton. Afterwards you have a relaxing day at the beach where your piknikbasket consists of watermelon, some potatochips, ice tea, some water and a magazine or a good book. Then you can really enjoy life and just RELAX. In these good days of summer I can dress in thin clothes and when I go outside I don´t have to worry about getting cold, so a jacket won´t be needed. And then there is the long and good summerholiday with NO school, and NO worries. If you didn´t long for the summer before... I bet you are now.

Hope you are looking forward to the summer as much as I do! If don´t... well, I don´t really care, because I only want the summer to come!

One last treat for you guys;

I feel very crafty right now... and maybe I am.

Sorry, I am just longing for the summer, and I felt like rubbing it in how good it is!

Lots of Summerkisses
Martha

SHOES IN CHARACTER

2009-03-01T15:10:00.009Z

I have many different types of shoes. Elegant, sofisticated, cute, cool... you name it. So here are some of the shoes that I have chosen to set in character. You can write a comment and say what kind of character all the shoes are.

Cute or elegant?

Elegant or sofisticated?

Cute or cool?

What kind of character? Sofisticated, cool, cute, elegant... you name it!

What kind of character?

The house of shoes...

Love

THE NUMBER ONE ICONS

2009-02-25T19:01:00.017Z

I believe almost all of us have icons or people we look up to, you know, like fashionicons, or rolemodels. I myself have a few rolemodels, not only one, but many different rolemodels.

Fashion models are often tall and slim. But my two number one rolemodels is not very tall. They are not extremely skinny like models, but I think that it is more attractive when you are a little more curvy. It is a lot more sexy then the skinny models. (I don´t say that the people that are skinny are not beautiful or anything, I am a bit skinny myself. But I just think that the ones that are a little more curvy are very lucky. Most men/boys like a bit more curvy women, I can see why. So to be tall and skinny, is not always as good as you should think. Kirsten Storms and Hilary Duff are both a little curvy, they look fabulous!

One of my two number one rolemodels is KIRSTEN STORMS. Everything about her is just wonderful. She reminds me a lot of Hilary Duff. Her style, her beauty, her smile, her hair, her eyes... wow, talk about perfection.

My other number one rolemodel next to KIRSTEN STORMS is HILARY DUFF. Because she does not go around and party all the time, and she does not cry for attention. I also like her style.

ASHLEY AND MARY-KATE OLSEN. Because they have their own unique style and they are inspiring with their fashion business.

DEIDRE HALL AND DRAKE HOGESTYN. Because of their talent in acting. They are fantastic actors, and they play their characters perfectly. Both have a good sense of humor too.

Who are your rolemodels? And why are they your rolemodels?

Lots of Love

WICH ONE?

2009-02-25T18:23:00.004Z

I have made new header for my blog. But have made two different ones, so wich one should I pick? Please leave a comment where you pick one, that would make me very happy.

Hugs&Kisses

WHAT TO WRITE?

2009-02-21T22:18:00.004Z

I want to have more readers on my blog, so what shall I write about? You have any good ideas?

Love

SAFE TRAFFIC FOR BIG AND FOR SMALL...

2009-02-21T19:40:00.007Z

...where shall we play and where shall we go?

Our cat Pippi borrowed our dog Tinka´s reflexvest. She looks pretty good, huh?

Lots of Love

I DO HAVE BIG PLANS..I DO

2009-02-19T07:16:00.007Z

Hello everyone! Long time no see. I haven´t written her in a long time, so I thought it may be the time. Lately I have been thinking a lot of what education I want after high school. And now I have been thinking a lot of Julliard. I have a huge passion for singing, acting and dancing, and so this is a university for music, dance and drama. I am thinking, it is just the thing for me. So here is my plans for the future.

I am now in my second year in the program called Media and Communication. Next year I am not going to take the third year in this program. I am going to a different school, actually a private school called Akademiet on the program called "påbygging til genrell studiekompetanse".
When I am finished with my third year, and I graduate from high school, I am thinking to take a free year. In the summer 2010, I am considering going to USA for four weeks on some kind of summer program.
In 2011 I am planning to go to USA and study at Julliard (hopefully).

I have my goals, and I am going to reach them. My plans for the future will happen.

Do you have any plans for the future?
What is your dreamjob, what do you want to do?
Where do you want to live?

Never give up on your dreams, never let people tell you that your dreams are stupid, or that you can´t reach your goals. Make your plans for the future a fact.

Love

if my shoes were colorful

2009-01-30T09:33:00.002Z

One of mine creations

Love

New design

2009-01-23T23:31:00.006Z

I have only one question for you wich I would have loved for you to answer;
What do think of my new design?

Ps. Does someone know how to get rid of the black border around the photos?

Hugs&Kisses,

You´re my best friend

2009-01-23T18:27:00.012Z

Today I went on a walk with my dog Tinka. And I took some pictures outside.

But first I will tell you a little bit about my unsual day.
You see this morning, from the moment I came into the bathroom and I lost my lip balm at the floor, I had a ugly feeling that this day would not be very good. I had a feeling deep down in my stomack, and you know what? I was right!
First there was the feeling I had all day, to not feel good enough at anything, and it didn´t help much when I got my grades for this semester. I think that I got so badly grades because of all the work with media communication subjects, so I didn´t have much time for the other subjects. And that is why I am not going to go the 13th grade on media and communications, I want good grades, and that is not going to happen if I go there, and I really do need good grades. I want to focus on english and other things, because that is what is important to me.

Anyway, later I was going to meet my mom at the mall, so I didn´t have to take the bus home. But of course that didn´t go as I had thought. I was really hungry, and my back was killing me. So eventually I got to eat something, and then we went on home.

What a day!

Lots of Love,

Little Me

2009-01-18T19:16:00.003Z

I looked at old photos today, it is a little strange to see photos from that long ago.

Little me at 3 years!

Hugs&Kisses,

Out Shopping!

2009-01-18T00:44:00.006Z

This Saturday my mom and I were out shopping. And we did actually buy a lot of stuff ^^ I am posting some photos so you can see for yourself;

I am going to read the book Twilight, the movie is to be seen on the movies nowadays, but I figured I can just as well read it.. on english! Does any other of you read any book right now? If so, what is it called? I have to be even better at english, since my plans are to move to the United States :)

....and the beautiful shoes, of course !

So, done shopping, my mom and I found out that we spent 4 hours shopping! I think it was all worth it! Don´t you?

At the end of the evening my mom and I watched "Mamma Mia!" together. Lovely movie <3

Lots of Love,

New Favorite Movie! <3

2009-01-11T17:33:00.005Z

So I have oficially a new favorite movie, "Mamma Mia"! The beste movie I have ever seen. I heard from people that it was boring and all that, I can´t believe they thought that. I abseloutly loved it! It is just my kind of movie. Romantic and a lot of fun. I laughed many times, and it also came a lot of "aaw" out of my mouth through the movie. Now I am so glad I saw it, and I will definetly watch it over and over again!

Pierce Brosnan and Meryl Streep are two of the main characters in the movie. They have good chemistry and they played really well through the whole movie. And I am sure Pierce Brosnan is the most goodlooking man that ever lived! I am sure many others agree with me.

I recommend on the strongest that you see this movie if you like romantic movies with a lot to laugh of. If do like that kind of movies and don´t see this, you are going to regreat it, trust me ;)

What is your favorite movie?

Lots of Love,

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!

2009-01-04T14:49:00.009Z

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

So it is the year 2009, hopefully a year filled with laughter, joy, good times and new friends.

I have a few new years resulutions I have been thinking of, so here they are;

1. Have better self disiplin

2. Work more with my homework

3. Be more out with friends

4. Find out what I really want, and do it!

Well, that´s it. So, do you have any new years resulutions? Would love to hear them :)

Lots of Love,

grandma & grandpa

2008-12-23T14:13:00.009Z

Sunday 21st of december my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister, her boyfriend and I were in Eidsvaagen to visit my grandfather. And before we visited him, we went to my grandmother´s grave.

Then we visited my grandfather in the home

Hugs&Kisses

New Design

2008-12-20T16:47:00.010Z

Just to have something to write about I am asking you what you think of my new design?

And by the way, a few days ago I bought a chocolate bowl and guess what,

- I still haven´t managed to eat it all up!

Lots of Love

Bakingqueen

2008-12-19T20:36:00.003Z

Then I am finished baking cookiemen. It was a sucess I must say. Just look at the bakingqueen herself;

Hugs&Kisses

Wish upon a star

2008-12-19T16:50:00.008Z

Here is my list of what I want for christmas (the numbers doesn´t mean anything):

1. Desperate Housewives season 4

2. Bag

3. Friends (seasons 3,4,7,8,9)

4. Mineral make up

5. PSP (PlayStation Portable)

That is what I have come up with so far.

What do you want for christmas?

Hugs&Kisses, Martha <3

Psychology

2008-12-18T08:10:00.002Z

Long time no see! I haven´t written so much lately because I have had so much homework. The program is called media and communication so it is understood. Right now we have web, and we are everyone going to make our own website. In my website I am going to have poems, lyrics and photos that fit, everything I make myself. How does that sound? Well, I don´t feel very well today, I have a very bad cough. So I will be going home very soon, I should have stayed home to start with, but I couldn´t because I have to see a councilor about my education. I am planning to study psychology when I have gratuated. And so we are supposed to deliver the Red Beauty commercial we have made.

Anyone else who is sick of school and homework?

Hugs&Kisses, Martha

Real Girlnight

2008-12-06T23:34:00.010Z

This night my mom and I had a real girlnight. We ate yummy salad with tuna, and watched a movie:

And we went on shopping today as well, I wanted to get some new shoes for the winter, but the shoes I wanted was not to be found in my size, how typical and just my luck. But we did buy a little lamp for my room, wich fit just perfect!

And I bought something else too, I was longing for long fingernails, and finally:

And of course some new clothes, what else? :

That was all for today people, good night ^^

Lots of kisses, Martha <33

Relocate

2008-11-24T10:52:00.004Z

Well, my new room is now soon to be done. Yesterday we got up the curtains and the bed is come in. Also a beautiful standing mirror, and my sacosack is in the room, even my tv has moved in. But there is a lot more to be moved, and yesterday was a start. One good thing is that I have my own bathroom with a radio and everything. So today I am going to order some things from Ikea, which is going in to my room. Such as a pink sofa :) It may sound bisarr, but it will fit with my room. It has light walls, and a pink sofa will do the trick;)

At the time, we have tonns of homework to do. The program is called Media and Communication, so you shouldn´t be suprised. Well, I have to do some homework tonight, since I have a presentation tomorrow. We have also a big task in Mediadesign, we are going to make a brochyre, and not enough with that we also are going to make a commercial for Red Beauty, we have a big web design task and at the top of it all, two tests this week! Can you blame me for flipping out??

Anyway, how has your schoolday/day at work been like?

Love, Martha

2008-11-14T12:57:00.004Z

The last lesson at school today went to a test in the media communication subject. I felt that it went very badly, so I probably won´t get a very good grade on this one. Well, so when we were done we got to go. I was going to reach a bus, and thought I was going to make it, but appereantly I wasn´t suppose to. I ran all the way down to the bus, but of course the bus wasn´t there. But enough about that. When I didn´t get to take that bus I had to wait only about 25 minutes for the next. So I had a lot of time to do things. And so I went and bought myself Snapple! Love that drink. What is your favorite drink?
I also got honey candy, and a honey lollipop from my dad, because he had been out traveling:) I feel lucky ^^

So, what has your day been like?

Lots of love, Martha

Mr President

2008-11-06T11:45:00.004Z

I want to congratulate Barack Obama as the new President of the United States. He is a worthy winner, and I believe he is going to do a wonderful job.

AMERICAS NATIONAL ANTHEM

The Star Spangled Banner
(The Defense of Fort McHenry)
September 20, 1814
By Francis Scott Key
Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, now conceals, now discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines on the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! O long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wiped out their foul footstep's pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, for our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner forever shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
Sent by Carlos André Pereira da Silva Branco

American girl

2008-10-17T10:30:00.000Z

well she was an american girl
raised on promises
she couldn't help thinkin that there
was a little more to life
somewhere else
after all it was a great big world
with lots of places to run to
yeah, and if she had to die
tryin' she had one little promise
she was gonna keep

oh yeah, all right
take it easy baby
make it last all night
she was an american girl

it was kind of cold that night
she stood alone on her balcony
she could the cars roll by
out on 441
like waves crashin' in the beach
and for one desperate moment there
he crept back in her memory
god it's so painful
something that's so close
and still so far out of reach

oh yeah, all right
take it easy baby
make it last all night
she was an american girl

Photoshop photo

2008-06-01T15:30:00.003Z

I made this photo on photoshop, with one picture of me, and I put different effects on them. Afterwards I put them together and the original photo I put behind all the little photos. But I have edited a little on the light on the original photo;)
Some comments on it :) ?

Africa in the summer!

2008-05-30T11:09:00.003Z

This summer I am going to Africa, Tunisia. I am so looking foreward to it, because I have never been outside of europe. It is going to be so much fun, because a really good friend of mine is going with us. On this trip it will be my mom, dad, my older sister, her boyfriend, my friend and I. The date when we go is 19th of July, and we stay there for two weeks. To get to the airport in Oslo, we first have to drive to Aandalsnes, and then take a train from there to Gardermoen to take the plane to Africa. My friend lives in Nannestad, close to the airport, so it will be very easy for her. The hotel is luxury and we can bowl there, play minigolf, there is a spa there, restaurants, a inside pool, and two big pools outside. I can't wait to get there! Oh my gosh, this is going to be so exciting!!!

Love Martha

A coinsidence?

2008-05-27T18:42:00.003Z

Is it a coinsidence
that I met you
in the flowershop
that sunday afternoon?
Is it just a coinsidence
that you walked me
all the way home
after that scary movie?
And then before leaving,
giving me a kiss,
so tender,
so warm?
If it is,
then so am I.

Written by Martha

Our Love

2008-05-27T18:15:00.002Z

Our love
was too special too be waisted
but yet,
you threw it all away,
in the most horrible way.

Written by Martha

Worth it?

2008-05-27T18:13:00.002Z

I reach out for your hand,
and you reach for mine..
You take one step foreward,
and I do the same.
But when we are there,
will it all be worth it?

Written by Martha

Footsteps in the sand

2008-05-27T18:09:00.002Z

You make footsteps in the sand,
I will follow you.
I make sounds so high,
and I will lead you.
Anywhere you go,
Anywhere you are,
Just know for sure,
I'll be right behind.
And if you are insecure,
Reach out for my hand,
And there I'll be..
And together,
We'll find our way home...

Written by Martha

Find You

2008-05-25T18:16:00.002Z

In my dream
I saw you as a shaddow
yet so clearly
The feeling of you beeing present
warms me more than you will ever know
Like the clouds in the sky
it is impossible to reach
impossible to touch
but yet so easy to see
My only hope is to find you
and get you home.

Written by Martha

2008-05-25T18:11:00.002Z

Since you've been gone
my heart have been taking a break
and my head was nowhere to be found
Just remember and know
that I need you no matter what
you can
hit me
kick me
do anything
but don't break my heart
because that's where YOU are.

Written by Martha

The voice

2008-05-25T18:04:00.002Z

I love your voice
I can hear it so far away,
even though I don't want to listen
Your voice is strong
and can break through tick walls
I am playing the piano
following the melody of your voice
I don't know how,
but you lead me
and I trust you
I played for hours
I played for days
But never was I tired of hearing the voice
The voice
that in my heart
never fade away.

Written by Martha

Just a few phrases

2008-05-12T00:22:00.002Z

"I AM NOT SHY
- I AM MYSELF"

"EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT
- WHICH IS HOW IT SHOULD BE"

"I RELAX WHEN I AM AROUND YOU
- BECAUSE I CAN JUST BE ME"

"I am facinated by many different people" - Martha

Passion for writing

2008-04-30T20:01:00.005Z

Hello again people!

Today I feel just fine, had a few surprises, but other than that, I am OK. The weather has been really great today, and I got to wear my new dress. A little breeze now and then is wonderfull. The way the soft breeze so tender breath against your skin, it is an unspeakable feeling. When you go from beeing very warm, till you have a breeze in your face, and untill it is all over, and so you go back to beeing warm, that is living.

My shoes where killing me today! Pure tourture! When I got home, it was such a relief to take the shoes off of my feet, and to have my feet resting. SO, I will never wear those shoes at school again, IF you know what I mean..

Have you ever just listened to everyone talk at the same time? When you are in a place where everyone is talking about different things, and so you get so confused. But what I do, is that I don't focus on any voices, I only focus on everything, the wholeness. Then it doesn't make much sense, but it is somehow very fazanating to me. You hear just a lot's of voices, and everything is just one BIG noise.

Now, over to something total different.

THE TRUTH ABOUT TEACHERS.

Yeah, I bet you wanna hear about that alright! For some exceeding reason, all teachers are VERY rare. I mean, when you think about it, how many teachers have you had that has been as we can say "ALL NORMAL"? Just think about it for a minute. It is definitely something to think about. A lot of people has said to me that I am a good writer, and one teacher even said that he believed I was going to write a book one day. And then we have my new norwegian teacher, doesn't really like my way of writing, does seem like he/she doesn't like my stories and my thoughts. But you know what? Frankly, I don't care. Because I know I am going to write a book one day, and it is going to be a hit. And the teacher who didn't like my writing, well, that teacher would have to be so sorry. I love to write, it is my passion, and it is my kind of way to express how I feel, what I am thinking of, and what enoys me, that kind of things. No one can tell me that my writing is bad, because I know exactly how good I am, and I am sertinly NOT going to let some incompitent teacher tell me that the stories I write are "cliché". Forget it. I know exactly what I am writing, and if he/she doesn't get it, or thinks it is "cliché", well than it is just too bad for him/her! When I write things on the paper, it is a reason for it, then I mean it, because I have a meaning with all of my texts. If I don't have a mission, I can just as well head on back home. So I always have ideas in my head you know. That is what's makes a good writer! Remember that, and remember this: Do NEVER let a teacher take your passion for writing away from you! You see, I know what I am talking about, trust me, or else I wouldn't have written it all down. The teacher on the other hand, that is another story. If the teacher is like my teacher, he/she has no idea how it is like to write with passion in your heart.

Eyes on Martha!

2008-04-25T21:14:00.001Z

***Green eyes***
People with green eyes have the most passion when they are in relationships, and they have long lasting relationships. People with green eyes are also the h***iest. They long for the touch of another. You are curious, intelligent, jealous.

2008-04-07T10:27:00.002Z

Hello people !

Right now I am sitting at school beside my wonderfull Benedicte. I am doing some homework, because it's studytime. Don't really know what I am going to write about, but as usual I have to write SOMETHING. At the time I am dreaming a lot. This dream will come true one day, and hopefully very soon. When my sister moves out, I get the room downstairs, and that room is much bigger and then we are going to innovate and the walls, the ceiling and the windowsills will be white. And in the room there will be lime and turquoise details. And so the curtains will be diaphanous white. When I move downstairs I will also get my very own bathroom. How cool is that! I am so looking forward to it. It's all I am dreaming of. Well almost. I am of course also dreaming a lot about United States as well. But that is more far away, it's a dream that I know will come true one day, and hopefully it will be very soon. I think I have my future all figured out. What kind of job I will have, where I will live, what kind of lifestyle I will have, what kind of man I will marry, what kind of wedding I will have, how my weddingdress will look like, and so on and on. Sounds exciting or what? I think so, I would like for my life to be very exciting and eventful. And I will make perfectly sure that it will be! Hard work, and believing is all it takes!

That's all for now people!

xoxo martha

2008-04-05T13:51:00.002Z

So, today I was with the hairdresser, having my hair done. It went really well I felt, and I like the way it turned out. Anyway, it is finally weekend and I have so looked foreward to it. Now I can finally relax a little bit and have my minds off schoolwork, at least for a little bit. On thursday 10th, it is really sure that I am walking up on the catwalk. I am going to show off some clothes from the store where my sister works. And I am also going to lay out a photo of myself at amfi.no, becuase it is a competition, tv3 top model is looking for a model, and so I want to join it :) Anyway, it's going to be really cool to walk up on the catwalk!

I really don't have a lot to talk about, but I am going to try to make this a LITTLE interesting to read. I am actually thinking of continue to write on my book, or a small story, I don't know. But I started a while back, and I think I am ready to continue it now. You see, I love to write stories, it's my passion. And i think that I am good at it. Not even a teacher can tell me that I am bad at writing stories, because I know that I am good, people have said so. A lot of people. I am not braging or something, I just know what I am good at and do it. So hopefully I will get started this weekend, or maybe I won't, but I am going to make it a promise that I will continue it the upcoming week.

Thanks for your attention. That's all for now.

xoxo martha

2008-03-30T00:22:00.003Z

Lately I have been thinking a lot of my life. What is the reason that I am living? I am actually kind of scared, when I think of everything I have to face in life, in this huge world. Sometimes I wonder if I will be able to survive. This life is really complicated. Homework is something that makes life heavy and sad. You get exhausted and angry and stressed out. It is not good for anyone. Actually you can die of homework. That is true! Because if you get too stressed, your bloodpressure gets high, and then you die. So remember this:

HOMEWORK KILLS!

So what can we doo about that? I'll tell you that; abseloutly NOTHING. Because if you don't do them, you don't get a job, and then you don't have a future at all, and so we have no choice at all- but to do them. So the big dollar question is, do we survive? And then it's teachers. Theachers can sometimes make you so angry, and really pissed. Sometimes you could think that they are there just to make your life miserable. They may think that it is really easy and that it's no big deal, but it is. It is tuff, it is really tuff. At the end of the day I am exhausted and I am SO tired. As a matter a fact, one day this past week, I actually cried when I came home. Why? Well, because I feel like I am not going to make it, I feel like my life is going to fall apart any minute. It feels like I am not going to make it in this world, in this life. And it's all because of those stupid homeworks, and the stupid timelines, deadlines. I hate it all, I hate it, I HATE IT!!!

The only thing that keeps me up is my dream of going to the United States. If that gets broken, I don't know what I will do. But of course family is helping a little, and friends. If I didn't have family I wouldn't have made it. And if I didn't have a lot of friends at school, I probably wouldn't have made it at all. So thank you. And I believe God gives me some kind of strength to hold on to life. I don't know, maybe it's a reason I am alive. Maybe it's a reason that I have to hold on. I hope that there is an exciting world out there to see, then all the hard work won't be for nothing.

That was enough for today people!

xoxo martha

My dreamMan

2008-03-22T19:36:00.004Z

My dreamman. I have him pictured in my head. He is a rich buisnessman. He is a little mysterious, and he is romantic. He can often suprise you, and he is a very loving guy. He is every girl's dream, but he can't even imagine beeing with another girl than you, you are the only girl for him. He is also kind, of course, and he is very very handsome. The guy I picture in my head is also honest, and a real man, a man you can trust, a man who protects you and is sooooo inlove with you. He misses you when you are not with him. It isn't stupid if this guy is much like James Bond. Takes your breath away. That is my dreamman.

Oh, and, did you say norwegian guy? JUST FORGET IT.
My man is an AMERICAN <3

Easter

2008-03-22T19:08:00.002Z

This is easter started really good. I went to visit my friend in Nannestad, Charlotte. We had a lot of fun, and I got to travel by plane, all by myself! I think I handle it pretty well, and everything turned out quite well. I was staying with my friend from the 17th to the 19th, and the day after I just relaxed at home, because I took the last plane home at 11 pm at night. So I got home very late. The 21st of march, I went together with my parents and my brother to visit my uncle, his girlfriend Nora, and my cousin in Eidsøra. My cousin Silje, was visiting with her father Martin (my uncle and mom's brother), and she had with her, her little boy Edvard (he is a little baby), really cute. After we had been there, we went to Eidsvågen and visited my grandfather (mom's dad). I forgot to give him a hug, so I really regret that I didn't give him a hug. I know that it is nothing to get so worked up about, but it really got to me. When we got home, I almost got migraine. That was really horrible. I had to lay down at my bed and sleep for a while, to rest. So later I was better.

Today, March 22nd, I have this feeling, the feeling of not be included in the family. I have no idea why, but I just feel that way. Everyone in my family are talking a lot, they are eating food and having a good time. The food they are eating, well, that is a chapter alone. Let's just say, that it is not my favorite meals. They are also playing games, such as "yatzy", wich I don't like at all. I love to play games, but not that game. It seems like I don't really belong in this family, it feels like I belong somewhere else. Where, I don't know. But I wish that I would fit more in with my family. Sometimes, I feel like no one can understand me. Then it is nice sometimes to have music as comfort, or the computer. I can sit here and write a lot of things that I am feeling. Because no one can really stop me. Here, I can write down whatever I feel, my most inner thoughts, and whatever. Everything may not make much sense, but it is letters. it is words, and it is sentences.

My biggest dream is really to come to the United States. I dream of becoming famous, but than again, who doesn't? I hope I find someone I can trust, someone that loves me for who I am, and someone I can fall inlove with, a man, a man, who is everything a girl could dream of, a man who takes care of you and protects you. Makes you feel loved and special. That's the dreamman. You can read more about my dreamman in the next post.

xoxo martha

CELEBRITIES in alphabetical order

2008-03-07T21:17:00.022Z

A

America Ferrera [fansite]
Aaron Carter
Ashlee Simpson [fansite]
Ashley Olsen [fansite]
Ashanti [fansite]
Alyson Michalka [fansite]
Anne Hathaway [fansite]
Anna Nicole Smith
Aishwarya Rai
Anna Kournikova [fansite]
Amber Tamblyn [fansite]
Amanda Bynes [fansite]
Ashton Kutcher [fansite]
Antonio Banderas
Al Pacino
Alexis Bledel [fansite]
Alexa Vega [fansite]
Adam Sandler [fansite]
Abigail Breslin [fansite]
Angelina Jolie
Andrea Bowen [fansite]
Amy Winehouse
Ashley Benson

B

Brittany Snow [fansite]
Brittany Murphy [fansite]
Brenda Strong
Billy Bob Thornton [fansite]
Britney Spears [fansite]
Ben Stiller [fansite]
Brie Larson [fansite]
Brandy [fansite]
Blake Lively [fansite]
Brad Pitt [fansite]
Bruce Willis [fansite]
Bette Midler
Beyonce Knowles [fansite]
Ben Affleck [fansite]
Benjamin McKenzie [fansite]
Brian McFadden [fansite]
Bethany Joy Lenz [fansite]
Brandon Beemer [fansite]
Bradley Cooper [fansite]

C

Cary Grant [fansite]
Courtney Cox Arquette [fansite]
Charlize Theron [fansite]
Charlie Sheen [fansite]
Courtney Love [fansite]
Ciara [fansite]
Catherine O'Hara [fansite]
Cynthia Nixon
Cameron Diaz [fansite]
Catherine Zeta Jones [fansite]
Chris Evans [fansite]
Colin Firth [fansite]
Christina Ricci [fansite]
Christina Aguilera [fansite]
Chad Michael Murray [fansite]
Christina Applegate [fansite]
Chevy Chase
Carmen Electra[fansite]
Christina Millian[fansite]

D

Deidre Hall[fansite]
Drake Hogestyn[fansite]
Diane Keaton [fansite]
Denise Richards [fansite]
David Letterman [fansite]
Daniel Craig [fansite]
Drew Barrymore [fansite]
Debra Messing [fansite]
Dakota Fanning [fansite]
Demi Moore [fansite]
Doug Savant [fansite]
Denzel Washington [fansite]
David Shwimmer [fansite]
Danielle Panabaker [fansite]
Devon Aoki [fansite]
Daniel Radcliffe [fansite]
Dita Von Teese [fansite]
Danny DeVito [fansite]
Dustin Hoffman [fansite]
Donald Trump [fansite]
Danielle Panabaker [fansite]

E

Ewan McGregor [fansite]
Evangeline Lilly [fansite]
Eddie Murphy [fansite]
Eva Longoria Parker [fansite]
Ellen Pompeo [fansite]
Eileen Davidson [fansite]
Elijah Wood [fansite]
Elisha Cuthbert [fansite]
Emma Watson [fansite]
Emma Bunton [fansite]
Eva Mendes [fansite]
Elizabeth Hurley [fansite]

F

Felicity Huffman [fansite]
Freddie Prinze Junior [fansite]

G

Gary Valentine [fansite]
Gavin Rosdale [fansite]
Gregory Itzin [fansite]
Geri Halliwell [fansite]
Goldie Hawn [fansite]
George Clooney [fansite]

H

Hilary Duff [fansite]
Haylie Duff [fansite]
Hillary Swank [fansite]
Harrison Ford [fansite]
Heath Ledger [fansite]
Hillary Clinton
Hayden Panttiere [fansite]
Hayden Christensen [fansite]
Hugh Grant
Halle Berry [fansite]
Helen Hunt

I

Isabelle Lucas [fansite]
Ian Somerhalder [fansite]

J

James Franco [fansite]
Jennie Garth [fansite]

Jean Smart [fansite]

Jennifer Aniston [fansite]
Jennifer Garner [fansite]
Jennifer Love Hewitt [fansite]
Jennifer Connelly [fansite]
Jeremy Sumpter
Jack Black
Jim Carrey
Jerry Seinfeld
Julia Roberts
Jessica Biel
Jessica Simpson
Julia Stiles
Jodie Foster
Jamie Lynn Spears
James Denton
John Travolta
Johnny Depp
Johnny Cash
Joy Lauren
Josh Hartnett
Jesse Metcalfe
Jesse McCartney
Jerry Stiller
Jon Voight
Jane Seymour
Julie Andrews
Justin Timberlake
Jamie Lee Curtis
Jake Gyllenhaal
Jackie Chan
Jack Nicholson
John Cleese
Jaquin Phoenix
Julia Louis Dreyfus

K

Kelly Clarkson [fansite]
Kelly Osbourne [fansite]
Katie Holmes [fansite]
Katherine Heigl [fansite]
Kirsten Storms [fansite]
Kirsty Alley
Kristin Davis
Kate Beckinsale
Kevin Costner
Kristian Alfonso
Kate Hudson
Kate Beckinsale
Keira Knightley
Kody Kasch
Kay Panabaker
Kim Basinger
Kiefer Sutherland
Kim Raver
Kanye West
Kylie Minoque
Kevin James
Kyle Lowder
Kate Winslet
Kristen Stewart

L

Lacey Chabert
Lindsay Lohan
Leah Remini
Lisa Kudrow
Lucy Liu
Luke Wilson
Leonardo DiCaprio

M

Marcia Cross
Melanie Griffith
Mary-Kate Olsen
Michael Douglas
Mel Gibson
Martin Lawrence
Martha Madison
Matthew Perry
Matt LeBlanc
Miley Cyrus
Monica Bellucci
Mandy Moore
Melanie Brown
Mariah Carrey
Mackenzie Rosman
Macaulay Culkin
Mischa Barton
Michelle Pfeiffer
Martha Madison

N

Nina Dobrev
Nia Long
Nelly Furtado
Natalie Portman
Nicole Kidman
Nicolette Sheridan
Nikki Blonsky
Nicole Richie
Nikki Hilton
Nick Lachey
Neve Cambell

O

Orlando Bloom
Olivia Newton John
Owen Wilson
Oprah Winfrey

P

Paul Wesley
Peter Reckell
Patrick Dempsey
Pierce Brosnan
Paris Hilton
Pink
Patricia Arquette
Penénople Cruz
Pamela Anderson

R

Rihanna
Rachel Bilson
Richard Gere
Reneè Zellweger
Rachel McAdams
Reese Witherspoon
Robert DeNiro
Robert Pattinson
Rachel Melvin

S

Sienna Miller
Sandra Bullock
Steve Martin
Shawn Pyfrom
Sean Penn
Sophia Bush
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Sylvester Stallone
Sara Paxton
Sean Connery
Sandra Oh
Sean Kingston
Sharon Stone

T

Teri Hatcher
Tammin Sursok
Tina Turner
Tara Reid
Thaao Phenglis
Tom Welling
Tim Allen
Tom Hanks
Tom Cruise
Tori Spelling
Tobey Maguire
Tyra Banks
Tom Felton
Taylor Swift

U

Uma Thurman

V

Vanessa Anne Hudgens
Victoria Beckham

W

Wenthworth Miller
William Hut
William Moseley
Whitney Houston
Winona Ryder
Will Ferrell
Will Smith
William H Macy

Z

Zac Efron
Zach Braff

UNDER WORK!

07.03.08

2008-03-07T16:24:00.003Z

Hello people!

Today I was at home, because I am not feeling really well. Yesterday was really hard, cause the weather was bad, it was really windy, and I had to go a lot outside. It didn't help really much, cause I was already sick then. And today I was at school only to give a "mediedesignoppgave" on a cd, to a friend, who was going to give it to the teacher. And so the day has been really normal- this far, anyway. Well, ofcourse I am sick and all that, and that really blows! I am trying to get well, because in easter I am going to visit my friend in Nannestad. I just have to get well to then!
That was all for now, maybe I'll write something later, who knows!

xoxo Martha

Imagine..

2008-03-07T16:03:00.003Z

I love

2008-03-03T20:14:00.003Z

"I love the way you smile"

"I love the way you touch my skin"

"I love your eyes"

"I love everything about you"

"I love that you call me, just to say that you love me"

"I love that you call me beautiful instead of sexy"

"I love that you are you"

"I love that you love me"

"I love that you can't imagine living without me"

"I love who you are"

"I love the way you talk"

"I love that you stay awake just to see me sleep"

"I love that you hold my hand in your strong hand"

"I love that you hold me through the night"

"I love that you dry my tears when I cry"

"I love that you comfort me when I am sad"

"I love that you show me off to your friends and say; here is my girl, only mine."

"I love how you kiss me"

"I love how you hold me in your strong arms, and never want to let go"

"I love YOU"